Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Worst Outcome of a Home Birth-Avoiding it
By Elfin Leaplog
We all know what we fear the most. Things just don't get any bleaker or more grief stricken than this. The question we all ask ourselves, wondering if this will be our fate, hoping it "can't happen to me", unsure that we could survive if it it did.
I am of course talking about an emergency transfer and the resultant constant birth rape we will suffer should that happen, leaving us with a child we don't like very much (occasionally flirting with the idea of it dying and how that wouldn't be so terrible) and a birth experience ravaged, ruined, splattered......deceased.
Here are a few tips from around the home birth community to help you work through your fear, educate yourself, make an informed decision and most of all encourage you to TRUST BIRTH !!!
"Read only the nice home birth stories ! Focus and chant over these stories! They bring peacefulness and comfort! Because for every bad ending you read about someone else has a happy one and if you think about the good ones to keep negativity away so will you. "
"You are going to be just fine. Where ever you birth you perform the same act, go through the same motions and assume some risks. IMO those risks are lesser at home and by thinking positively about my opinion I can magic it into FACT ! so think positive and your chances of transfer become teeny tiny ( ="
" I made the mistake of reading a couple scary stories about HB gone wrong and that caused me to think there was the remotest possibility we were acting in a way that could be described as.....naive? selfish? careless? I don't know, many adjectives went through my head. I had a wobble and for a minute there almost took it as some sort of sign that we were making the wrong decision. But then I spoke to my midwife who assured me that birth at home was much better. So I stopped thinking. And that really helped loads. I'm sure that is why my home birth went fine"
"Be careful about reading\posting on boards that don't operate a strict censorship policy. The vast majority do, but some are more lax and let any old homebirther come in and talk about the bad stuff.
On my board the moderator slipped up and somebody wrote about their home birth loss. That itself didn't bother me in the slightest, I mean - shit happens. But the she returned, defended her ludicrous fairly tales of a midwife that didn't know what she was doing in an emergency ! (as if ! low risk women don't have unexpected emergencies and anyway show me a midwife with no herbs and I'll eat my computer!!) and she even linked to sites full of terrible grief stricken losses, which wasn't nice, but what really upset me was that there were also LOADS of stories about huge numbers of women who had to transfer.
I read the first one and couldn't finish it, it made me so scared. My heart was going like a train, I was agitated, distracted, irritable, nothing like my regular self ! Then the self-doubts came up into my mind, totally irrational thoughts about having to transfer in an emergency and how awful that would be. Then of course I realized all these negative thoughts would attract a medical emergency, making me more likely to have to go to hospital.
So I forgot about it, I kept busy with my everyday stuff and re-affirmed the reasons for me wanting another HB. I put not transferring down to that good education and attitude that I focused on."
Don't we all feel more informed and in control of our births now (=
I know I do !
Any more tips from our faithful readers ?