By Elfin Leaplog
We all know what we fear the most. Things just don't get any bleaker or more grief stricken than this. The question we all ask ourselves, wondering if this will be our fate, hoping it "can't happen to me", unsure that we could survive if it it did.
I am of course talking about an emergency transfer and the resultant constant birth rape we will suffer should that happen, leaving us with a child we don't like very much (occasionally flirting with the idea of it dying and how that wouldn't be so terrible) and a birth experience ravaged, ruined, splattered......deceased.
Here are a few tips from around the home birth community to help you work through your fear, educate yourself, make an informed decision and most of all encourage you to TRUST BIRTH !!!
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"Read only the nice home birth stories ! Focus and chant over these stories! They bring peacefulness and comfort! Because for every bad ending you read about someone else has a happy one and if you think about the good ones to keep negativity away so will you. "
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"You are going to be just fine. Where ever you birth you perform the same act, go through the same motions and assume some risks. IMO those risks are lesser at home and by thinking positively about my opinion I can magic it into FACT ! so think positive and your chances of transfer become teeny tiny ( ="
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" I made the mistake of reading a couple scary stories about HB gone wrong and that caused me to think there was the remotest possibility we were acting in a way that could be described as.....naive? selfish? careless? I don't know, many adjectives went through my head. I had a wobble and for a minute there almost took it as some sort of sign that we were making the wrong decision. But then I spoke to my midwife who assured me that birth at home was much better. So I stopped thinking. And that really helped loads. I'm sure that is why my home birth went fine"
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"Be careful about reading\posting on boards that don't operate a strict censorship policy. The vast majority do, but some are more lax and let any old homebirther come in and talk about the bad stuff.
On my board the moderator slipped up and somebody wrote about their home birth loss. That itself didn't bother me in the slightest, I mean - shit happens. But the she returned, defended her ludicrous fairly tales of a midwife that didn't know what she was doing in an emergency ! (as if ! low risk women don't have unexpected emergencies and anyway show me a midwife with no herbs and I'll eat my computer!!) and she even linked to sites full of terrible grief stricken losses, which wasn't nice, but what really upset me was that there were also LOADS of stories about huge numbers of women who had to transfer.
I read the first one and couldn't finish it, it made me so scared. My heart was going like a train, I was agitated, distracted, irritable, nothing like my regular self ! Then the self-doubts came up into my mind, totally irrational thoughts about having to transfer in an emergency and how awful that would be. Then of course I realized all these negative thoughts would attract a medical emergency, making me more likely to have to go to hospital.
So I forgot about it, I kept busy with my everyday stuff and re-affirmed the reasons for me wanting another HB. I put not transferring down to that good education and attitude that I focused on."
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Don't we all feel more informed and in control of our births now (=
I know I do !
Any more tips from our faithful readers ?
My tip: Change name to Elfin Leaplog. Become Elfin Leaplog. BE. Elfin. Leaplog.
ReplyDeleteI have become.
ReplyDeleteugh.you make me sick! the worst thing is losing a baby, you dumdums!
ReplyDeletetry burying your baby, then get back to me on how much a transfer and "Birth rape" is!!!
liz: you obviously have too much baggage sweetie! you need to get off your high horse and stop flashing your dead baby card all over the internet. why can't you be like my good friend Laura and suck it up.one for the team, you know? you can't limit MY freedoms: this is AMERICA.
ReplyDeleteLiz I'm afraid that is not true.
ReplyDeleteWe all knew it, always have done, but since High Preistess Janet Fraser ordained that a dead baby not as traumatic as birth rape it is community law as well as lore.
(((((((I'm hugging you cos I guess I should make some kind of meaningless gensture)))))))))))
)))))))))I'm afraid you're wrong Elfin Leapfake. The community has spoken that the rights of the first amendment deemed to be far more traumatizing than whatever trite you wrote in your comment. It's a downright travesty that will undermine the powers that the unborns hold. With their powers combine, they become Captain Planet, but sadly the first amendment holds them down.((((((((
ReplyDeleteUnhugging for the demise of Captain Planet.
You could at least TRY to be supportive !
ReplyDeleteAnd Captain Planet does not pertain to this discussion as well you know.
The 1st amendment is a separate issue rendered null and void when extended to contradictory statements regarding fixed law or lore from the High Priestess Janet Frazer, Hallowed Be Her Vagina, when applied to our inner sanctum.
Quantum physics proves it so. You can't argue with quantum physics.
Quantum physics is nothing but voodoo talk. Your comment is invalid.
ReplyDeleteQuantum physics are NOT voodoo. You disrespect the fundamental tenants of my religion when you use its name as a derogatory term.
ReplyDeletehow very very dare you !
I counsel you all to be very wary of dabbling in dark arts like quantum physics. Trust more, think less !!!
I had negative thoughts about my home birth and had to transfer due to placental abruption. Consider how as a low risk triplet UBA4Ex that was just SO not on the cards I know it was the negative thoughts that led to my birth rape !!
ReplyDeleteI'm PROOF that you will pay if you don't think positive ALL THE TIME. Careful what you read, only read the good choice affirming stuff, or it will all go wrong !!!
I am such a victim. I blame the women who write negative accounts of home birth. We should ruthless hunt them down, insult them, blame them for what happened to them and socially isolate them in their darkest time till they stop saying this stuff and be quiet.
It's the morally correct thing to do if you think about it in the right way.
I just don't understand how someone can go all over the internet telling people about how a baby died in homebirth. What about the womyn who will suffer paroxyms of fear that cause their babies to turn breach? Then some stupid person calls the paramedics, who take mom the hospital for the Cascade of Interventions? Whose fault is it for the destroyed birthing experience and ruined bonding? Whose fault that they will never truly love that child? Dead baby story person!
ReplyDelete