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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Mr. TAO is Jealous

 So apparently Mama Tao has a secret admirer for St. Valentine's day!!! Oh boy was I surprised when I went to the mailbox and discovered a box with no return address.  
Being the free loving spirit and trusting soul that I am of course I opened and awwwwwwwwww

Isn't the face just the most precious babe that you've ever seen ((((((( <3 )))))))

And the the animation in the eyes is just so lovely

Is that a Placenta?!?!?!

Delayed cord clamping FTW!!!!

Awww someone knows me so well a Mama who would sooner have her arm cut off than ruin her child's vagina birth! Mr. Tao is not thrilled that someone else got me such a personal gift, but he's still a great lover!
Hmmmm This pair need names.  Any suggestions?

Happy St. Valentine's day to everyone
Love always,
Mama Tao

Friday, February 8, 2013

Nemo? Isn't he a gimp fish

What a bunch of pansies we have here in.  Goddamn people this is New England, snow it happens.  And we are land of the massholes since when do we go run and hide over a measly few feet of snow??

And Mama Tao, Mr. Tao and the entire team will be damned if the gubment is going to tell us what to do!  
So just for our fans we have some pictures of how to drive right in this snow.  How you ask? Why in  a VW bus of course.

Don't be a dumbass and try and use a fancy smancy plow truck.

Stay tuned, after we're done playing in the snow.  We'll be updating with some storm safety tips.
Namaste my friends

Sunday, February 3, 2013

All natural skin care

Are you looking for all natural ways to keep your skin looking 

beautiful and maybe some natural make ups that can bring out your

natural beauty?? Well, wymyn, look no farther than at home. Want

younger looking skin?? Just collect your menstrual blood and rub

some into the skin. It will also help the skin to feel firmer. 

Blood has so many life giving properties and helps give your skin

it’s beautiful coloring. Another tool in this arsenal can be 

provided by your significant other. That’s right, semen. It firms

the skin beautifully. Now, in order to prevent contamination, it

must come directly from the source. 

Do you want rosey cheeks?? 

Look at your flower beds! There is a beautiful purple plant, 

called a Wandering Jew, that you can use. Just rub the leaves 

onto your cheeks for an instant rouge.

Need a natural skin cleanser?? Acquire some maize and create a 

poultice. You can rub this poultice on the skin and rinse off 

with diluted urine. Urine can also be a fabulous hair cleanser 

for those of us who no-poo!! 

Speaking of hair, did you know you can rub meconium into your 

tresses for it’s conditioning effects?? For any placenta you 

don’t cook, you can puree and rub into your hair as a leave in 

treatment. Shh, I’ve also heard that placenta erases wrinkles,

but that’s our secret!

If your partner is still intact, you can use his discharge,

called smegma, as a lip balm. He can collect these secretions

for you. If you to plump up your lips, add a few drops of 

jalapeno juice to the smegma. If you want some color, add berry 


Do you need eyeshadow?? Go no farther than your outside cooking 

area. Collect the soot and rub on your eyelids as desired! 

If you need a good exfoliation, look no farther than Poison Ivy!

It does wonders for the skin. It is nature’s chemical peel. I 

mean, who needs nasty chemicals on your skin when you can have 

natural juices on it??
Wymyn, let’s keep this our little secret!! When those chemical-

laden women see how beautiful we are, they are bound to be 

jealous and ask our secret as a way of trying to be like us. We 

must keep these close to our chest, lest big pharma try to 

recreate these effects!!