All natural skin care

Are you looking for all natural ways to keep your skin looking 

beautiful and maybe some natural make ups that can bring out your

natural beauty?? Well, wymyn, look no farther than at home. Want

younger looking skin?? Just collect your menstrual blood and rub

some into the skin. It will also help the skin to feel firmer. 

Blood has so many life giving properties and helps give your skin

it’s beautiful coloring. Another tool in this arsenal can be 

provided by your significant other. That’s right, semen. It firms

the skin beautifully. Now, in order to prevent contamination, it

must come directly from the source. 

Do you want rosey cheeks?? 

Look at your flower beds! There is a beautiful purple plant, 

called a Wandering Jew, that you can use. Just rub the leaves 

onto your cheeks for an instant rouge.


Need a natural skin cleanser?? Acquire some maize and create a 

poultice. You can rub this poultice on the skin and rinse off 

with diluted urine. Urine can also be a fabulous hair cleanser 

for those of us who no-poo!! 

Speaking of hair, did you know you can rub meconium into your 

tresses for it’s conditioning effects?? For any placenta you 

don’t cook, you can puree and rub into your hair as a leave in 

treatment. Shh, I’ve also heard that placenta erases wrinkles,

but that’s our secret!


If your partner is still intact, you can use his discharge,

called smegma, as a lip balm. He can collect these secretions

for you. If you to plump up your lips, add a few drops of 

jalapeno juice to the smegma. If you want some color, add berry 

juice!!

Do you need eyeshadow?? Go no farther than your outside cooking 

area. Collect the soot and rub on your eyelids as desired! 

If you need a good exfoliation, look no farther than Poison Ivy!

It does wonders for the skin. It is nature’s chemical peel. I 

mean, who needs nasty chemicals on your skin when you can have 

natural juices on it??
Wymyn, let’s keep this our little secret!! When those chemical-

laden women see how beautiful we are, they are bound to be 

jealous and ask our secret as a way of trying to be like us. We 

must keep these close to our chest, lest big pharma try to 

recreate these effects!!

Who We Are--The Wonderful Staff of Mama Tao--Part II

Ulrike Woodandfelt
Ulrike Woodandfelt is a very talented ND, CPM, Holistic Minister who lived in Stockholm, Germany with her genatilly intact husband and her three virgin daughters. She love the study of Ultrasound and its dangeroud effects on the brains of babies and Mothers.


Goldenwolf Mooncloud
Goldenwolf Mooncloud, age 30, is the mother to seven: Quicksilver Bean (10), Jupiter Odin (9), Jane (7), Stormy Rainbow (6), Resplendent Quetzal (4), and twins Mushroom and Seagull (2). She and her life partner Mustang hope for an eighth baby soon! Her favorite parts of motherhood are baby/toddler/tweenwearing and super-extended nursing. Goldenwolf also loves being a healer – she is trained as a homeopath, an aromatherapist, a yoni massage therapist, a knitting therapist and a tarot reader. She hopes to soon learn about mud therapy and drum therapy from Mustang’s dear mother, Oaktree, an expert in both healing modalities.



Mother X

Lactivism Lizzie

WAKE UP AND SMELL YOUR BABY MAMAS

I has some angryz right now.  I thought Lacitivist were supposed to be enlightened to all the nachural wayz??  "They are!" you say.... Well then WHY TEH FUK are they doing this?

"Why are you so outspoken about the topic of hats on newborns?
My first concern is safety, my second is experience....and as it turns out the experience of birth is what triggers the built in safety mechanisms. This is also true for third stage. Mom being able to smell her newborn’s head is the design for the REconnection of mother and baby (smell of baby to olfactory system to limbic system = initiation of “identification” biology) AND release of oxytocin signaling the uterus to release placenta and stop bleeding so necessary for mother’s health. In addition to hats interfering with bonding and safety of third stage, hatting restricts the UNmoulding of the baby’s skull. The hats we use in the U.S. do NOTHING for maintenance of core temp according to the studies I have found, and in fact one study showed that a hat was detrimental to maintenance of core temp. Brain cooling may actually be good for all babies and not those who have potential brain damage. And studies show that nakey, skin to skin with mom is most effective way to stabilize core temperature and that, in fact, her body will heat and cool as needed for baby’s sake as it did when baby was inside. Brilliant! We cannot improve on this design. Why do we keep trying? We are so peer dependent. One midwife does it, one birth supply house sells them and we are off to the races. We have to do what everyone else does. My challenge is that we do NOTHING unless we know why or why not, even if every other midwife we know is doing it. I never have and would NEVER put a hat on a newborn and I am hoping that in my lifetime, I can have some effect on other people doing the research and ditching the hats." -Carla HartleyThere is nothing nachural about hatting your babe EVAR.  Still not nachural even if you make it look like a perfect pre-baby making days boobie.  You are messing up the mama infant bond with hats.  So damnit mamas Off with Their Hats!

"Please do the research...Stop hatting newborns....you are screwing up bonding...the olfactory system takes those lovely pheromones coming right out the top of the baby's head straight to its mamma's deep limbic system where it is WAITING for her baby's smell....not some other smell....HER baby's smell. Hats do not keep baby warmer and indeed unless you are birthing naked on the tundra the best way to keep baby warm anyway is old fashioned skin to skin....put NOTHING between mamma and baby. And while I am preaching.....consider the fact that the hat impedes the UNmoulding of the head. Baby hats are NOT natural. When I see home birth midwives —who should know better— putting hats on babies in all these youtube videos I want to scream. You are messing with something way above your paygrade. Mammas are supposed to have access to all that there baby has to offer...and vice versa."-Carla Hartley

Put down the damn knitting needles.  Or better yet here is a list of TEN (10) useful things you busybodiez could make instead. 

1. Felted breast pads. So Mama can catch every last drop of teh liquid Gold and wring it out into bebes mouth.  Never waste a SINGLE DROP

 2. Squid Menstrual cup cozy.  Now your diva cup will always be snuggly and easy to find and any extra blood will just look like squid ink

 3. tampons easy peasy and a quick knit so you can easily make your mama friend and entire bouquet of them using up your scrap yarnz

 4. Mama Cloth For catching the lochia since nothing goes in the VAAAAAAAAAAGINA for 6+ weeks after that ahhhhhhhhhhh-mazing HBAMC.  Keeps those knees closed.

 5. Cthulhu Cocksock needz no 'splainin obviously

6.  Anatomically Correct Childbirth Education Doll This is a great sibling gift for LOs who's Mama will be having a Homebirth soon.  Great for preparing them for when Mama is having teh bebe

7. knit turds These go great with the Childbirth dolly so that kidlets are not alarmed by all the giant turds that will be floating 'round the birthing tub.  You can even buy them fishing nets and make catching mamas poops a game for them.

8. A VA-VA-Vulva Great for using as a focal point during labor surges.  Mama can vissulize her cooter growing to a massive size as she shoots her 11+lb bebe down through the love canal

9. Seamless Pecker warming bag Keep Daddy modest and you from having to see turtle dick when he hops out of the birth tub to refill your raspberry leaf tea.

10. A Headband for Mama Mama can use this to keep her dreadlokz out of the tub during labor and out of her face when bonding with her new bebe so nothin is in the way of their faces

click these to get the patterns shown above

Tittie blankets

Squid

roll yourr own tampooooons

Lochia ragz

cthulhu cocksock
Doll with wild 1970s bush
Catch and Release
life like snatch
weiner mitten
Dredz Holder

Guest Post: Healthy Ideas for Breastmilk!

By: Lactivism Lizzie

What's up crunchy mamas? Are you ready to work those swollen goodies of yours and wring out every last delicious drop of liquid gold? Get your boob-pumps ready, Earth goddesses; it's time to milk 'em for all they're worth!

First, did you know that your mama milk is a living, life-giving, vital fluid that can be replicated nowhere else on Earth?  Well, so is semen, but that's another post (see my archives for some sweet recipes for your husband's leftover man-milk).  Anyhoo, Breast milk Saves Lives (just ask fellow lactivist and crunchy placenta-eating rock goddess The Feminist Breeder!) and nothing, yes nothing, else will do for your baby.

But Mama Milk ain't just for babies, fellow Composting Cuties! Nope, your boob juice can nourish, heal, and provide cleansing products for the entire family!  For example, pretty much any recipe that calls for milk, cream, egg white, or even just a "dash of love" can have breast milk substituted in.  That's right, just think how ecstatic your family will be on Sunday morning when presented with a hot, buttery stack of Breast milk Pancakes! And don't forget, instead of putting a dollop of processed commercial Prairie Farms cream in your organically grown and harvested coffee, just put a healthy helping of home-grown Liquid Gold in that coffee cup!

And did you know that you can make your own soaps and candles using your 'specially formulated milk-o'-mama? That's right, Earth mamas; but a word of caution: wait until your second or third month milk comes in (no colostrum!).  Those of you still breastfeeding your teenagers and husbands can start right away, with this simple recipe: 3 lbs. vegetable shortening, 17 ounces dark olive oil, 18 ounces Safflower oil, 6 cups thawed breast milk, 12 ounces pure sodium hydroxide (lye - Red Devil brand works), 1 ounce Borax, 2 TLBS honey, and Ice Cubes. Heat and stir, moosh and mix, ‘til you have a nicely blended liquid ready to pour into your molds (I personally adore the breast-shaped molds from adamandeve.com; so apropos!).

And let's not forget to protect the whole fam damily when cold and flu season arrives!  Instead of heading to Dr. Evil's lair and requesting an autism-filled flu shot, just inoculate your own family with your ready-to-use, pure and unadulterated lactation vaccination! Family members can just nurse at your breast three times a day for about 10 minutes each time, or you can just utilize some of your precious freezer stores and make a delicious and life-giving smoothie for your honeys!

So there you have it, fellow Milk Mommies! There is no reason you shouldn't be producing what you were born to produce and puttin' it to use! Stay tuned for other fun lactivism factivism (including tips on how to breastfeed your family when in a restaurant) and some other amazing health benefits from lifelong lactation! Bottoms up!

Lactivism Lizzie is a lactation consultant at her local Health Department. She has been breastfeeding her four children for the last twelve years!