The Hills are ALIVE with the sound of MUSIK

Now this is a story all about how,

Our boobs got flipped, turned upside down.

And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there,

I’ll tell you how I became the Queen of this thing called Nature.


In the west of the suburbs, born and raised,

At the chiro, is where I spend most of my days.

Lactating, AP’ing, doing yoga in the nude,

And passing out awareness cards inside of Whole Foods.


When a couple of bitches, who were up to no good,

Started bottle feeding in my neighborhood.

I gave them one little tip and they got mad.

I tell you, why can’t they see that breastfeeding is so rad?


I whistled for my pals and when they came near,

I could smell strong incense, patchouli, and their unwashed hair.

If anything, I saw that they started to fret,

But I thought, nah forget it, let’s go to Target!


We were blocking the aisles by seven or eight,

And we yelled at the shoppers, “My baby has to eat!”

Breastfeeding our babies, we were finally there,

To sit on our thrones, as the Queens of Nature.

~~ Lyrics by DJ *D*S*C

10 reasons not to trust your OB

1. Your OB is probably a man.
2. Men don't have a Yoni.
3. If he has no yoni he's never charted his cycle to know exactly when he ovulates.
4. he has no ovaries.
5. he has no uterus.
6. If he has no uterus he's never been pregnant.
7. If he's never been pregnant he's never been in labor.
8. If he's never been in labor he's never felt contraction surges.
9. If he's never felt contraction surges he's never had a natural birth.
10. If he's never given birth naturally he's not an expert on natural birth.

All natural skin care

Are you looking for all natural ways to keep your skin looking 

beautiful and maybe some natural make ups that can bring out your

natural beauty?? Well, wymyn, look no farther than at home. Want

younger looking skin?? Just collect your menstrual blood and rub

some into the skin. It will also help the skin to feel firmer. 

Blood has so many life giving properties and helps give your skin

it’s beautiful coloring. Another tool in this arsenal can be 

provided by your significant other. That’s right, semen. It firms

the skin beautifully. Now, in order to prevent contamination, it

must come directly from the source. 

Do you want rosey cheeks?? 

Look at your flower beds! There is a beautiful purple plant, 

called a Wandering Jew, that you can use. Just rub the leaves 

onto your cheeks for an instant rouge.


Need a natural skin cleanser?? Acquire some maize and create a 

poultice. You can rub this poultice on the skin and rinse off 

with diluted urine. Urine can also be a fabulous hair cleanser 

for those of us who no-poo!! 

Speaking of hair, did you know you can rub meconium into your 

tresses for it’s conditioning effects?? For any placenta you 

don’t cook, you can puree and rub into your hair as a leave in 

treatment. Shh, I’ve also heard that placenta erases wrinkles,

but that’s our secret!


If your partner is still intact, you can use his discharge,

called smegma, as a lip balm. He can collect these secretions

for you. If you to plump up your lips, add a few drops of 

jalapeno juice to the smegma. If you want some color, add berry 

juice!!

Do you need eyeshadow?? Go no farther than your outside cooking 

area. Collect the soot and rub on your eyelids as desired! 

If you need a good exfoliation, look no farther than Poison Ivy!

It does wonders for the skin. It is nature’s chemical peel. I 

mean, who needs nasty chemicals on your skin when you can have 

natural juices on it??
Wymyn, let’s keep this our little secret!! When those chemical-

laden women see how beautiful we are, they are bound to be 

jealous and ask our secret as a way of trying to be like us. We 

must keep these close to our chest, lest big pharma try to 

recreate these effects!!

CAT FIGHT

EDITED TO ADD: Taking a  screen cap also means the pic in question belongs to you as you were simply taking a pic of what was on your screen. I recomend that everyone use a screen cap for they editing funs!


AS it turns out the Gina Brooder does know I exist! I am so happy, friends. In this post she made to me she does get something right. I was using her picture without permission.

Gina thinks she knows an awful lot about the law. I know a lot about the law too. The law states that screen capping of an image has been found to be fair use  and the picture in question belongs to ME!  The NOT fucking Hyphenated Husband over here, also known as Papa TAO had a grand old time making this little gem.

This is a screen cap that is covered by the Fair Use policy

And I, the great Mama Tao invite YOU to do the SAME! Well , not the same. Do your own thing. I think this needs a contest! Whoever makes the most LOVELY Gina pictue wins! What do you win? Um...How about anything off the internet (legal and includes shipping ) that you fucking want?!(Under $20) What a fun game ! Yay!!!
Just make sure you alter at least 10% of the image and a screen cap to qualify)
Let's Play, Bitch :D

(Shhhhh, an IP address only gives you the name of my server, not me. It's Charter BTW. If you'd have asked I'd have told you. If Frank Zappa's greedy family can't find me, I doubt you can. But guess what? I'll give you my address. Not sure why it will be handy but I'll do it :))

Meet the Feminist Bragger

For todays post I refer you here. It's the Feminist Bragger and I think I'm in love! Tell her Mama Tao sent you ;)

My Professor is Anti-Feminist

As very few of you know, I am a student as well as a million other things. During this last pregnancy, with little Stone Feotus, I was taking a class with this one professor who insisted that I act just like every other student.

It started out that my Professor insisted I come to every class or have my grade docked. But I was pregnant and my feet hurt and I have 6 other kids to take care of as well as the Little Bitch Man, who incidentally, told me my Yoni was made from gold and passed down from the Goddess herself.


Was this something the professor was doing just for me? No! I'll have you know that my professor wants me to act like every other student. Does he not know that I am a birthing Goddess and Internet hero? Does he not know that I am the leader of my husband and children while also studying Taoism and preaching feminism?

How very very dare the Academic Misogynist refuse to see me for who I am. I am a woman who makes it her goal to prove that a woman is equal to a man in every way! Why the hell was I not getting special treatment?

I can't write about this anymore. I am currently sitting in an iron lung I borrowed from a friend to make me feel special and handicapped during my recovery. I'll keep you all informed as to what happens with my Equal Opportunity complaint.

Feminism Today

By Mother X
I like to think that my purpose here earthside is to educate others, who are unfortunate enough to be uninformed and who just follow orders from THE MAN their whole lives, like a blind, male, unquestioning sheep would!! There’s a topic that all of us womyn can agree on and that is feminism! Feminism - it’s about the choices we make as individual womyn. I’d like to outline a few points about feminism so you don’t have to learn a man’s version of this.

1) Feminist womyn DO NOT shave their legs!! PLEASE remember this. However, IF you have some sort of medical condition that forces you to submit to the Opressive Blade of Man, please blog about it so the rest of us do not get confused by your brand of alternative feminism.

2) NO MEDICINE! ANY type of medical treatment ESPECIALLY those having to do with your sacred Yoni, are INVENTED BY MEN!! Real Womyn do not concern themselves with the scientific branches that come up with these little money maker pills. Feminist womyn LIVE with the conditions and variations of normal that Her Highness has seen fit to give us! I myself endured three empowering bouts with Blue Waffle Disease UNCOMPLICATED by antibiotics. The Goddess has given us all we need to heal right within our own bodies, be it eating placenta for “baby blues”, or drinking your urine for “cancer.”

3) Barefoot and pregnant IS a womyn’s place. Now I know what you’re thinking here - isn’t that what feminism is against? Well yes, if you’ve sheepishly swallowed what the MAN CENTERED SOCIETY calls feminism! Of course they want to come up with an excuse to prevent you from being at their beck and call, and to cause you to deny the reason for your existence, which of course IS to make babies, as many as possible. To be a feminist, you have to be feminine at all times and do what Her Highnesses created you to do!! Birth naturally and NEVER allow the Fruit of your Yoni to languish alone in a bed or lay on the carpet.

4) Fight the POWER!! That’s right! When someone presents you with “scientific” evidence, it’s proof that they want to control you and coerce you into non-free-thinking activities like wearing shoes, getting shots, epidurals, or learning what THE MAN wants you to learn at their institutes of male domination. Do the EXACT opposite of what they say so you too can be empowered!

5) Spread the word!! If you want to help your fellow sisters, intervene in all cases when you see someone trying to spread dirty lies, ZDoggMD for instance - with his medical interventions and “health” concerns. Any information given by someone educated at a male dominated institute of “higher learning” has an agenda that seeks to keep us down! The most modern feminist do this via Twitter. If you see someone on your twitter feed mentions getting ready to get a shot, INTERVENE! If some poor womyn has been LIED to and her husband mentions her being wheeled into the OR for a ‘necessary’ C-Section, INTERVENE! There are absolutely no good reasons for either of these scenarios to be occurring. Immediately point out the wrongness of these situations!

With a little thoughtfulness and logic we CAN take the world back from the MEN who want to hold us down!