Sunday, February 3, 2013
All natural skin care
Are you looking for all natural ways to keep your skin looking
beautiful and maybe some natural make ups that can bring out your
natural beauty?? Well, wymyn, look no farther than at home. Want
younger looking skin?? Just collect your menstrual blood and rub
some into the skin. It will also help the skin to feel firmer.
Blood has so many life giving properties and helps give your skin
it’s beautiful coloring. Another tool in this arsenal can be
provided by your significant other. That’s right, semen. It firms
the skin beautifully. Now, in order to prevent contamination, it
must come directly from the source.
Do you want rosey cheeks??
Look at your flower beds! There is a beautiful purple plant,
called a Wandering Jew, that you can use. Just rub the leaves
onto your cheeks for an instant rouge.
Need a natural skin cleanser?? Acquire some maize and create a
poultice. You can rub this poultice on the skin and rinse off
with diluted urine. Urine can also be a fabulous hair cleanser
for those of us who no-poo!!
Speaking of hair, did you know you can rub meconium into your
tresses for it’s conditioning effects?? For any placenta you
don’t cook, you can puree and rub into your hair as a leave in
treatment. Shh, I’ve also heard that placenta erases wrinkles,
but that’s our secret!
If your partner is still intact, you can use his discharge,
called smegma, as a lip balm. He can collect these secretions
for you. If you to plump up your lips, add a few drops of
jalapeno juice to the smegma. If you want some color, add berry
Do you need eyeshadow?? Go no farther than your outside cooking
area. Collect the soot and rub on your eyelids as desired!
If you need a good exfoliation, look no farther than Poison Ivy!
It does wonders for the skin. It is nature’s chemical peel. I
mean, who needs nasty chemicals on your skin when you can have
natural juices on it??
Wymyn, let’s keep this our little secret!! When those chemical-
laden women see how beautiful we are, they are bound to be
jealous and ask our secret as a way of trying to be like us. We
must keep these close to our chest, lest big pharma try to
recreate these effects!!