The Hills are ALIVE with the sound of MUSIK

Now this is a story all about how,

Our boobs got flipped, turned upside down.

And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there,

I’ll tell you how I became the Queen of this thing called Nature.


In the west of the suburbs, born and raised,

At the chiro, is where I spend most of my days.

Lactating, AP’ing, doing yoga in the nude,

And passing out awareness cards inside of Whole Foods.


When a couple of bitches, who were up to no good,

Started bottle feeding in my neighborhood.

I gave them one little tip and they got mad.

I tell you, why can’t they see that breastfeeding is so rad?


I whistled for my pals and when they came near,

I could smell strong incense, patchouli, and their unwashed hair.

If anything, I saw that they started to fret,

But I thought, nah forget it, let’s go to Target!


We were blocking the aisles by seven or eight,

And we yelled at the shoppers, “My baby has to eat!”

Breastfeeding our babies, we were finally there,

To sit on our thrones, as the Queens of Nature.

~~ Lyrics by DJ *D*S*C

Empowring UBA2C

First I would like to thank Mama Tao for giving me a place to tell my story.  It is my hope to inspire women to know that their bodies aren't broken and all you have to do is believe for miraculous things to happen.

My Name is Mimi RaRa and my story starts almost 4 years ago when I fell pregnant with my first child.  It is now hard to look back at that time with any joy knowing what I know now.  I chose OB care and hospital delivery.  I believe that I was forced into a C-Section.  They did everything all the real moms told me they would to scare me.  They told me at an ultrasound that my baby was suspected to be over 10lbs.  When I didn't go into labor at 41 weeks they said I needed to be induced to ensure the survival of my baby.  I didn't know it then but they were clearly trying to schedule my birth around their whims and PLAYING THE DEAD BABY CARD.  But I was just a sheeple and I allowed the induction.  Well after the cascade of interventions my baby went into distress and they took her by C-Section.  At the time I was overjoyed but now all I can look back and feel is frustration and anger.  Avalia Louise was born at 11lb 2oz with a 2x nuchal cord.  Those horror show physicians made me think they did me a great favor and saved the life of my daughter.  But really they are ones that endangered it in the first place.

I found I was pregnant with DD2 at my 6 week check-up.  I was happily railroaded into another section because they felt my pregnancies were too close together.  My little La Ja'na Tulip was 10lb 6oz.  At the time life was blissful, I had my 2 little girls and things just couldn't be better. 

Now that I was Mom to 2 babies I looked to the internet for some entertainment and socializizing.  And that is where I learned about the horror of birthrape that was forced upon myself.

I started reading and talking with any and everyone I could.  I got angrier and angrier.  How dare these "doctors" doubt my boby and my baby.  We as women are made to do this.  Our babies have an innate innteligence they do not grow too large, nor do they come before they are ready.  Like the fruit on the vine.  I knew what I needed to do.  I needed to have a healing natural birth.  I had to show myself and the world that a baby could pass from my vagina.  I learned through the culture of the group I was entering that a baby passing through my vagina was the only way I was ever going to be a real empowered mother and woman.  I didn't really want another child but how else was I going to heal?

I became pregnant quite quickly after my decision.  I was so thrilled at the thought of having my natural healing birth.  But as all my new friends told me the doctors told me that the safer option was RCS.  No matter how many google printoffs I showed them, no matter how many articles on Ina May I gave them they wouldn't budge.  I could not fail again.  So I left OB care and decided to UC my baby at home.  My vagina was going to open and a baby was going to come out of it.  It is what my body was made to do. 

The rest of my pregnancy was easy breezy.  Late one night I started to feel low slow rushes and I knew the time was near.  I swayed to the song of my cervix until the rushes were becoming hard to stand through.  So I grabbed my camera and got into the tub.  The moment was almost here!  I was going to get my stingray.  No more tiny vagina for me. 

                                            

There's my tub full of my home flora and fauna and germs.  No more taking risks getting something awful from a supposedly sterile hospital.

                                           

The rushes were getting almost unbearable.  But finally my water broke!  The time for my vagina to come into empowerment was here.                                         

I started to feel the urge to push.  So I pushed will all my might.  And well sometimes shit happens.  But it was natural so I just pushed on.

                                         

It was a grueling 6 hours of pushing, but I just knew that with every push my stingray was that much closer.  Then I could be a new real woman.                                         

Stingray born into water.  I named her Love Empowerment.  All natural.  Oh there was a baby there too another girl I called her Savia Vagania because she saved my life and gave me the vagina I always wanted.  This time life was indeed beatiful.   

Now I have one AH-MAZING Stingray for a vagina, one beautiful perfect little girl who gave her mother the best gift of all, a NUCBA2C, two other kids too.  I am so grateful to have been able to prove those doctors wrong and push a baby out of me.  Nothing can top that feeling. 

WAKE UP AND SMELL YOUR BABY MAMAS

I has some angryz right now.  I thought Lacitivist were supposed to be enlightened to all the nachural wayz??  "They are!" you say.... Well then WHY TEH FUK are they doing this?

"Why are you so outspoken about the topic of hats on newborns?
My first concern is safety, my second is experience....and as it turns out the experience of birth is what triggers the built in safety mechanisms. This is also true for third stage. Mom being able to smell her newborn’s head is the design for the REconnection of mother and baby (smell of baby to olfactory system to limbic system = initiation of “identification” biology) AND release of oxytocin signaling the uterus to release placenta and stop bleeding so necessary for mother’s health. In addition to hats interfering with bonding and safety of third stage, hatting restricts the UNmoulding of the baby’s skull. The hats we use in the U.S. do NOTHING for maintenance of core temp according to the studies I have found, and in fact one study showed that a hat was detrimental to maintenance of core temp. Brain cooling may actually be good for all babies and not those who have potential brain damage. And studies show that nakey, skin to skin with mom is most effective way to stabilize core temperature and that, in fact, her body will heat and cool as needed for baby’s sake as it did when baby was inside. Brilliant! We cannot improve on this design. Why do we keep trying? We are so peer dependent. One midwife does it, one birth supply house sells them and we are off to the races. We have to do what everyone else does. My challenge is that we do NOTHING unless we know why or why not, even if every other midwife we know is doing it. I never have and would NEVER put a hat on a newborn and I am hoping that in my lifetime, I can have some effect on other people doing the research and ditching the hats." -Carla HartleyThere is nothing nachural about hatting your babe EVAR.  Still not nachural even if you make it look like a perfect pre-baby making days boobie.  You are messing up the mama infant bond with hats.  So damnit mamas Off with Their Hats!

"Please do the research...Stop hatting newborns....you are screwing up bonding...the olfactory system takes those lovely pheromones coming right out the top of the baby's head straight to its mamma's deep limbic system where it is WAITING for her baby's smell....not some other smell....HER baby's smell. Hats do not keep baby warmer and indeed unless you are birthing naked on the tundra the best way to keep baby warm anyway is old fashioned skin to skin....put NOTHING between mamma and baby. And while I am preaching.....consider the fact that the hat impedes the UNmoulding of the head. Baby hats are NOT natural. When I see home birth midwives —who should know better— putting hats on babies in all these youtube videos I want to scream. You are messing with something way above your paygrade. Mammas are supposed to have access to all that there baby has to offer...and vice versa."-Carla Hartley

Put down the damn knitting needles.  Or better yet here is a list of TEN (10) useful things you busybodiez could make instead. 

1. Felted breast pads. So Mama can catch every last drop of teh liquid Gold and wring it out into bebes mouth.  Never waste a SINGLE DROP

 2. Squid Menstrual cup cozy.  Now your diva cup will always be snuggly and easy to find and any extra blood will just look like squid ink

 3. tampons easy peasy and a quick knit so you can easily make your mama friend and entire bouquet of them using up your scrap yarnz

 4. Mama Cloth For catching the lochia since nothing goes in the VAAAAAAAAAAGINA for 6+ weeks after that ahhhhhhhhhhh-mazing HBAMC.  Keeps those knees closed.

 5. Cthulhu Cocksock needz no 'splainin obviously

6.  Anatomically Correct Childbirth Education Doll This is a great sibling gift for LOs who's Mama will be having a Homebirth soon.  Great for preparing them for when Mama is having teh bebe

7. knit turds These go great with the Childbirth dolly so that kidlets are not alarmed by all the giant turds that will be floating 'round the birthing tub.  You can even buy them fishing nets and make catching mamas poops a game for them.

8. A VA-VA-Vulva Great for using as a focal point during labor surges.  Mama can vissulize her cooter growing to a massive size as she shoots her 11+lb bebe down through the love canal

9. Seamless Pecker warming bag Keep Daddy modest and you from having to see turtle dick when he hops out of the birth tub to refill your raspberry leaf tea.

10. A Headband for Mama Mama can use this to keep her dreadlokz out of the tub during labor and out of her face when bonding with her new bebe so nothin is in the way of their faces

click these to get the patterns shown above

Tittie blankets

Squid

roll yourr own tampooooons

Lochia ragz

cthulhu cocksock
Doll with wild 1970s bush
Catch and Release
life like snatch
weiner mitten
Dredz Holder

PRESECUTION!! - EXBFing and WFBFing

Guest Blog by Lactivistissimo

Wymyn !! Extended Breastfeeders !! Whole Family Breastfeeders !!! - We have a problem.

The EVIL formula companies are plotting against us !!! (support action against them)

The prejudice at what we do, inhibiting as ever our peaceful, non intrusive, modest public breastfeeding (please click and show support in comments, the poor woman is still livid with righteous indignation !!) is still a HUGE issue.

What we have noted is that our British EBers and WFBers suffer far more prejudice than any other nationality.

We have also discovered why !!!

Tirgger Warning for Laugh-At-Me Rape





Mama Tao does not wish to squander her supply of Natural Parent Advisory Warning stickers, due to cost reasons. If you feel this video meets the criteria please vote for a sticker under this post in comments.

I personally feel OPRESSED !!

Guest Blog: Liquid Schizophrenia

by Lactivism4Ever

While I know it is always better to rely on instinct and feelings to be a natural mother and get things right, studies that underline the extent to which we are mothering the RIGHT way are always welcome.

Now how many of you have had accusations hurled at you that extended breastfeeding is a sign of your mental ill health or will cause complexes in your children ?

All of us right ?

That is the lot of the woman who walks to the beat of her own guitar and openly breastfeeds her older children in public. You'd have thought people had never seen a couple of middle schoolers suckle before the way some people react.

Well here is some news that I am sure you will enjoy reading, although I doubt it will surprise you any.

Proof  that in fact we are saving our children from schizophrenia and a whole host of mental disorders.

Unequivocal evidence that far from showing we are mad extended breastfeeding for as long as you possibly can keeps you kids out of Danvers !!

Show me one disturbed person that wasn't poisoned with formula and I'll eat my own nipple.

Given that many mental disorders do not show up until the late teens and early twenties I think at this point we have no choice other than send the message that those of us who breastfeed our adult children are in fact the only ones who really love their progeny. I mean what kind of mother would condemn her children to mental health issues right ?

http://www.schizophrenia.com/prevention/breast.html

Now Launching!! Feets for Eats!!

Ok , so I know the title does not make any sense, but who cares!
There are so many women out there who cannot breastfeed and so many of us here who have gallons of milk bricks in our freezers that I thought we could use Mama Tao as a place for mothers to meet random strangers and exchange untested bodily fluids! Tee hee hee!

If you have extra milk to donate, please leave you name in the comments!
And if you want your child to have the milk of a human so badly that you are willing to meet up with total strangers to get food for your child then leave your e-mail in the comments!

We'll see if we can make some pairs of Lactation Lovers!

Nurse- In Immediately All Home Hardware’s!

Ladies, I have had my constitutional right to nurse in public and private places VOLATED!

Today I was tandem nursing my 4 year old twins in the middle of an aisle at my local Home Hardware. I was minding my own business and keeping myself moderately covered but this one employee kept walking by and staring at me.

 I was sitting crisscross apple sauce in the middle of the paint aisle when my little Patchier Rose told me she was hot. My twins are not used to being nursed while I am wearing clothes so I removed my top for their comfort!

About that time, the nosey clerk came back as started yelling something about indecent exposure! I started yelling back. “My twins should not have to suffer because I can’t nurse them!”

“But Miss, you’re naked!” He yelled back.

Why was it a problem that I had removed my top to nurse my kids-- And that top happened to actually be a dress? Have these people never seen a woman in her underwear standing in the middle on the paint aisle with two preschoolers suckling at her before!!

I was asked to leave and then escorted to the front door. When I heard sirens and decided to flee!

I am calling all nursing mothers to boycott Home Hardware and to hold massive nurse-ins all over the country! With your help sisters, we will show Home Hardware that they have no rights as private owners of property! We shall nurse where we see fit!

Ask Mama Tao-Male Breastfeeding

Dear Mama Tao,
How can I encourage my husband to breastfeed?

You bring up a very important topic, Asker! I can tell that you must be new to the NATURAL Mama thing or you would already know the answer. How do we force anyone to do the NATURAL? We do it with guilt and misinformation!

Here are a few things you might threaten persuade your husband with:

Don't you love me?

Don't you love our child?

How can you bond with a baby if you don't nurse it?

Only 1% of men cannot medically breastfeed.

Babies can die of SIDs if not breastfed by BOTH parents!

Those are only a few ways to get your Hubs in on the family feeding! Perhaps the commenters can list some more!

Guest Blog: How I NEVER Let My Daughter CIO

By Lady Ravensbreath Shadowcaster

They say that African tribal mothers always respond to their babies
in ten seconds or less, and we all know much better life is in an
aboriginal tribe. More recently, a study came out from Yale that
proves that, when a baby cries, she is really upset and hurt forever.
That's right. Yale. So, I knew before she was born that I would
never, EVER let my daughter cry it out. This was actually pretty easy
when she was a newborn, because she only ever really opened her mouth
when she was hungry, so I just stuck a boob in there. But, around the
second month of her life, it started getting challenging, so I'll tell
you how I've been dealing.

Nighttime Parenting is the easy part. I simply never sleep. I need
to be right there with a boobie to pacify my little sweetie. At
first, my husband and I missed the sex, but now I don't even remember
what it was like to have a relationship with him. Oh sure, I do wish
that my baby liked to sleep in her crib. I try to teach her that it
is safe by snatching her out of it as if it were on fire anytime she
ever makes a peep and clutching her to my breast until she is calm.
My baby is six months old now, and I can't stop rocking back and forth
and bouncing on my heels even if I try.

During the day, it is a bit more challenging to never let her fuss,
especially as she deals with the frustrations of sitting up and
becoming more mobile. I took her to a yodeling class, on Tuesdays and
Thursdays, and so if she makes yodeling noises, it is okay. On
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I take her to a belly-dancing class
where we make a "zagarheet," which is the sort of yell that Xena
Warrior Princess makes. So, really, she has still never cried it out.
I figure that, when she's a teenager, I'll just put on heavy metal,
and she can "sing" along and still never be fussing! Well, that and
of course I'll still be breastfeeding.

Ask Mama Tao

Rhododendron Mistyton has a question for Mama Tao.

Everyone knows that tribes, unsullied by evil western influences, are the most natural of natural and we should try to emulate them so we can be the naturalest we can. I'm still nursing my s...on and found out I'm pregnant again. I thought, looking to Paraguayan Ache tribe for inspiration, that I would have to kill my newborn to avoid interrupting my nursing relationship, but my husband prefers the Kenyan Gussii method of weaning our son by slapping him whenever he wants to nurse. How do we decide which is more natural?

I have to admit you had me somewhat baffled here, Rhododendron--until that is, I took a closer look at what you were asking. It seems to me, the real question is not "which is more natural?" but which culture has the best practice that fits my family?

It seems to me, and to many other Mamas as well, that as long as you are using the cultural rituals of any culture outside of ours, any and all practices will be allowed.

To sugest a few more to you, perhaps consider the Mbubaba tribe, who believes that children are best weaned by being placed far away from the family camp site and forced to crawl back several times until they are so starved they will take any food offered to them.

The Hightys of Central Asia have  a practice that involves cutting the nipples off of the mother to reduce temptation. This, however might not work for you becasue you are wanting to nurse again.

Take you time in picking a culture to rape--this choice is not an easy one for us to make. Best of luck!

Guest Post: Healthy Ideas for Breastmilk!

By: Lactivism Lizzie

What's up crunchy mamas? Are you ready to work those swollen goodies of yours and wring out every last delicious drop of liquid gold? Get your boob-pumps ready, Earth goddesses; it's time to milk 'em for all they're worth!

First, did you know that your mama milk is a living, life-giving, vital fluid that can be replicated nowhere else on Earth?  Well, so is semen, but that's another post (see my archives for some sweet recipes for your husband's leftover man-milk).  Anyhoo, Breast milk Saves Lives (just ask fellow lactivist and crunchy placenta-eating rock goddess The Feminist Breeder!) and nothing, yes nothing, else will do for your baby.

But Mama Milk ain't just for babies, fellow Composting Cuties! Nope, your boob juice can nourish, heal, and provide cleansing products for the entire family!  For example, pretty much any recipe that calls for milk, cream, egg white, or even just a "dash of love" can have breast milk substituted in.  That's right, just think how ecstatic your family will be on Sunday morning when presented with a hot, buttery stack of Breast milk Pancakes! And don't forget, instead of putting a dollop of processed commercial Prairie Farms cream in your organically grown and harvested coffee, just put a healthy helping of home-grown Liquid Gold in that coffee cup!

And did you know that you can make your own soaps and candles using your 'specially formulated milk-o'-mama? That's right, Earth mamas; but a word of caution: wait until your second or third month milk comes in (no colostrum!).  Those of you still breastfeeding your teenagers and husbands can start right away, with this simple recipe: 3 lbs. vegetable shortening, 17 ounces dark olive oil, 18 ounces Safflower oil, 6 cups thawed breast milk, 12 ounces pure sodium hydroxide (lye - Red Devil brand works), 1 ounce Borax, 2 TLBS honey, and Ice Cubes. Heat and stir, moosh and mix, ‘til you have a nicely blended liquid ready to pour into your molds (I personally adore the breast-shaped molds from adamandeve.com; so apropos!).

And let's not forget to protect the whole fam damily when cold and flu season arrives!  Instead of heading to Dr. Evil's lair and requesting an autism-filled flu shot, just inoculate your own family with your ready-to-use, pure and unadulterated lactation vaccination! Family members can just nurse at your breast three times a day for about 10 minutes each time, or you can just utilize some of your precious freezer stores and make a delicious and life-giving smoothie for your honeys!

So there you have it, fellow Milk Mommies! There is no reason you shouldn't be producing what you were born to produce and puttin' it to use! Stay tuned for other fun lactivism factivism (including tips on how to breastfeed your family when in a restaurant) and some other amazing health benefits from lifelong lactation! Bottoms up!

Lactivism Lizzie is a lactation consultant at her local Health Department. She has been breastfeeding her four children for the last twelve years!

Guest Blog: The Perfect Food!!

Today’s guest blog comes from eight time Mama, and very good friend to Mama Tao, Soleil Moon  who is going to share some more NATURAL tips with us!

During my pregnancy, I felt like a glowing goddess. Here I was, like billions of our ancestral mothers, growing with life essence becoming curvier and more womanly as the weeks progressed. It was the best time of my life.

When I gave birth to my 12lbs 6oz Sunshine, I was taken aback that my glorious body was now the texture of tofu. Of course, while pregnant, I learned all I could about breastfeeding and decided that I would nurse my child.

One of the key things I learned was that breast milk prevented obesity. This led me to wonder "if it prevents obesity for my child, what can it do for me?". This is human milk, not bovine fluid. So, after my baby would nurse, I would pump as much milk as I could and would drink it.

Another good thing about breast milk is that it is low in calories. I could have this perfect low calorie drink. I began pregnancy at 123 lbs. and after delivery was 153 lbs. By the time Sunshine was 7 months old, I was down to 116. Sunshine loves taking sips from my glass of milk and I am happy that we are sharing nature’s perfect food! The key to postpartum weight loss-- Breast milk.

Thanks for sharing Soleil!

Soleil Moon is a Earth Friendly book shop owner in down town San Francisco, where she and her partner raise their 8 children to love NATURE and its bounty!