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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Guest Blog: How I NEVER Let My Daughter CIO

By Lady Ravensbreath Shadowcaster

They say that African tribal mothers always respond to their babies
in ten seconds or less, and we all know much better life is in an
aboriginal tribe. More recently, a study came out from Yale that
proves that, when a baby cries, she is really upset and hurt forever.
That's right. Yale. So, I knew before she was born that I would
never, EVER let my daughter cry it out. This was actually pretty easy
when she was a newborn, because she only ever really opened her mouth
when she was hungry, so I just stuck a boob in there. But, around the
second month of her life, it started getting challenging, so I'll tell
you how I've been dealing.

Nighttime Parenting is the easy part. I simply never sleep. I need
to be right there with a boobie to pacify my little sweetie. At
first, my husband and I missed the sex, but now I don't even remember
what it was like to have a relationship with him. Oh sure, I do wish
that my baby liked to sleep in her crib. I try to teach her that it
is safe by snatching her out of it as if it were on fire anytime she
ever makes a peep and clutching her to my breast until she is calm.
My baby is six months old now, and I can't stop rocking back and forth
and bouncing on my heels even if I try.

During the day, it is a bit more challenging to never let her fuss,
especially as she deals with the frustrations of sitting up and
becoming more mobile. I took her to a yodeling class, on Tuesdays and
Thursdays, and so if she makes yodeling noises, it is okay. On
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I take her to a belly-dancing class
where we make a "zagarheet," which is the sort of yell that Xena
Warrior Princess makes. So, really, she has still never cried it out.
I figure that, when she's a teenager, I'll just put on heavy metal,
and she can "sing" along and still never be fussing! Well, that and
of course I'll still be breastfeeding.


  1. You are COERCIVE !!

    You should let your baby cry if they want to !!

    Babies are wise and know when to cry if it serves them.

    You are also committing CHILD ABUSE by forcing that baby into formal education without their EXPRESS request to do so. IF baby wants to yodel, baby will instinctively know what yodeling is, that they need to know how to do it for their bliss and which community center has a course on at the moment.

    In that case they will let you know by learning to talk super early (we have anecdotal PROOF that this happens ALL THE TIME) and saying "mommy take me to yodeling classes right this minute".

    I feel sorry for your children.

  2. yes! finally someone says Exactly what i have been THINKING! Babies should never, ever cry! seriously people- crying is an UNNATURAL state of being!(i read that Yale thingie). how could anyone do all that WORK to make sure they were born into a calm, peaceful home to tell them they are worthless by letting them cry!