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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Psychology of Birth

As many of you know, Kate Tietje has asked Mama Tao to share her story with the world on her blog! I am so excited i wanted to give you all a sneek peak at my entry! Hope you enjoy!! And please keep the "Tisk Tisks" to yourself! All comments that are rude will be deleted!

By Jade Jymson
After the Birth of my first son, I had issues. The books I was reading talked about this great love and attachment that I was supposed to be feeling—but I wasn’t. I think it all started with my birth. I had dreams of a perfect, natural, labor—with husband and midwife by my side. As it turns out, the best laid plans are usually the first to go out the window. A LEEP I had received to remove cervical cancer had left my cervix covered in scars that refused to budge without Pitocin. After the Pit came the epidural—because one cannot expect to go natural after nature has been thrown out the window.
            The Epidural was scary and about halfway through I decided I didn’t want it anymore but was too scared to tell her to stop. My son was born many hours later, but something inside me had changed. I have to admit I don’t think it will ever get better.
            While looking for reasons as to why I might not have the emotions I should for my son, I was lured in to some psychology studies and found some interesting statistics. According to the Center for Family Freedom, almost 20% of women who suffered from traumatic labors felt that the relationship between themselves and their children was stunted and a further 5% felt downright dislike for said child. This number might actually be higher considering the subject at hand is not something most mothers admit. Phil Whithers, the head of the group states: “{ I}t is impossible to point out at which moment a Mother and child begin to bond—perhaps when unnatural interventions are introduced, certain hormones are never released.”
            I feel ya there Phil, honestly I do. But what if we have missed these precious moments that can never be returned to us? The answer lies perhaps in a re-birthing or sorts. Dr. Wyatt Jones of Shulls Mill College states: “If we can find a way to trick the mind-- make it think for a moment that it is reliving the seconds where the trauma was first introduced, perhaps we can have a second chance at renewal. Perhaps we can cause of release of the bonding hormone and give these mothers a chance at the relationship they never had with their kids. A psychological re-birth would involve mother and child reenacting the entry of the child into this world—we would literally give them a second shot.”
            We can only hope that there is some method that restores our natural balance as mothers and sisters in this world of unnatural interventions. But know this, you are not alone. We are all struggling and we all need and deserve a chance at redemption
~Jade Jymsom~
Gibbs, Jeanette. Bonding and Balance. 2. Winston-Salem: Blue Green Press, 2005. 375. Print.
Wilson, Robert. In a Child's Eyes. 2. New York: Heystone Publishing, 2009. 845. Print.


  1. You are so very very honest and super couragous.

    Lean on us.

  2. ((((((((Tao)))))))))))

    I'm so sorry you are going through this pain.

  3. I offer you unconditional hugz and support, which of course means nothing short of praising the very ground upon which you walk and the air that you breath. Because, after all, anything other than Big Bunny Hugz might make someone uncomfortable and self-reflective, and we just can't have that.

    ((((((((((((((Self-Righteous Delusions of Honesty and Courage))))))))))))))))