I found two questions in my in-box today and both have to do with sexual relations.
Our first question comes to us from Alexandra. She asked:
I Attachment Parent and babywear. If my husband and I want to have sex, should we wear the baby between us, or should she ride on my back when I'm on top? Or should my husband and I stop having sex altogether for the good of our child since that takes away some of her attention which might ruin her attachment to me forever?
That's a great question, Alexandra! While it seems like not having sex at all would be the easy route, I will try to help you think outside the box. Sexual relations is very important to having more babies so it can't be cut out of your life.
While attachment parenting is important, it is ok to set your baby down every now and then as long as they baby can see you. Sight is important to babies. You and your partner also need to make constant eye contact with the baby to improve learning.
Why don't you and your husband place the baby in its boppy and put it at the foot of the bed so the baby can see both Mama and Daddy and everything you two are doing! That way the baby knows that Mama and Daddy are nearby and knows what a healthy sexual relationship looks like!!
Our next question comes from mildbrouhaha. She asks:
I'm pregnant and want to make sure that I have a birth orgasm and not any of that pesky pain from contractions. Any advice for me?
Well the first thing I want to say is that the "pesky pain" as you call it, is part of the punishment God put on us women for Eve's sin! There is no getting rid of that--But no worries, we are going to turn that pain upside-down and use it to power an Earth shaking Orgasm!!
The first rule of labor orgasms matches the rules of regular orgasms. The best way to achieve this is to place stimulation on the Prostate (The one inside you) and the clitoris (the one outside you). In cases of labor, the baby takes care of the prostate stimulation so it's up to you, your husband and your midwife to stimulate your clitoris!
You should try stimulating yourself first and if that does not work ask your midwife to help. Don't be embarrassed, she does this all the time!! If you have all three tried and still have not managed to induce orgasm, then outside tools might need to be brought in. I highly recomend "The Rabbit" as it is sized correctly for a laboring vagina (which is 6-7 times larger than a normal vagina).
Soon you will experience the most incredible orgasm you have ever had while also giving birth to a new light being! Good luck to you both!
Send your questions to themamatao@hotmail.com
"Why don't you and your husband place the baby in its boppy and put it at the foot of the bed so the baby can see both Mama and Daddy and everything you two are doing! That way the baby knows that Mama and Daddy are nearby and knows what a healthy sexual relationship looks like!!
ReplyDelete"
You might as well chuck the boppy to one side, stick baby in a mini desk and chair and be more honest about the intent to enforce a COERCIVE education on her from the word go.
Did they baby ASK to be taught sex ed ? Did their natural curiosity lead them to showing an interest ?
NO !!!
This is just a physical form of "strewing", a highly manipulative form of COERCIVE eduction by STEALTH practiced by people who claim to be unschoolers, but just don't COMMIT to stepping back, letting go of their desire to controll and flex their power over small people and allow the child to be an autonomous life long learner.
Seriously, why don't you just beat the child with a large, spiky stick instead, you'd be HURTING her less than this obviously COERCIVE and MANIPULATIVE form of demonstrating to her that you have the POWER and intend to make her SUBMIT to your demands that she learns (when, how, what, if) YOU want.
The only way to have sex, maintain AP and provide the ONE form of education that WORKS is to wait until she is old enough to poke around parental anatomy and ask daddy to put his penile weapon of patriarchy in mommy's sainted vagina, for her enlightenment. Do not try to introduce the topic her natural curiosity will lead to an intrinsct understanding of the answers she needs to find the questions she didn't know existed.
And when she asks for a quick demo, do so immediately ,regardless of headache or supermarket shop currently in progress. Delaying the introduction of modeling or learning opportunities is extremely harmful and COERCIVE, it tells her your time is more precious than her own, which is highly damaging, a high speed car crash would have a better outcome on her future.
It is very important to be sensitive to her spontaneous interests and to take full advantage of them, convention be damned, this is your child's education we are talking about. What could possibly be more important to a mother who truly loves her child ?
Well, perhaps YOU should take ovet the role of answering questions! Perhaps I took her baby finger pointing at Daddy to mean she WAS wanting to learn?!
ReplyDeleteObviously as a world expert, conferences\workshop\seminar giver, highly renowned writer and something of a celebrity, I'm much better placed to answer them. Unfortunatly I am also far, far, far more busy and important than just a blogger.
ReplyDeleteHowever I do wish to pick you up respectfully on the issue of interpreting pointing at daddy.
WTF kind of mini Dictator are you ?
It is COERCIVE to "interprete" her gestures and provide them with a linguistic equivalency. You have to TRUST your child, TRUST the process and assign meanings ONLY when she articulates them AUTONOMOUSLY.
Preferably you should avoid the COERCION of trying to actively TEACH her to speak by using talking as a STEALTH measure of pushing her into fixed meanings assigned to utterances.
If you TRUST your child you will see that she will instinctively speak, on her own timetable, in the manner she chooses, if she chooses to do so at all without any PRESSURE from you with all that talky talky shit going on to try and CONTROL her.
A point at daddy is just a point, until such a time as SHE tells you it means something different. STOP trying to FORCE words into her mouth !! If would hurt her less if you shoved a full sized cucumber down her throat until she chocked !! You have NO IDEA how much DAMAGE you are doing !
I can see there is some deathly lack of free thinking going on leading to a non understand of what it means to be a REAL unschooler.
May I recommend my conference (You Too Could Be a Proper Unschooler Just Like ME and Deserve Your Children - 101)to be held in BackAssOff (TX), a snip at just 2,439 dollars per participant. Organic vegan, soy\casein\wheat\rice\potato\H2O\chemical (even naturally occurring)\heavy metals free buffet with placental whores derves included.
Before you can TRUST your children you have to listen to your instincts and TRUST me to show you what they are telling you !! I have a book available for sale at the conference just in case your instinct is not that good at rote learning.
Obviously as a world expert, conferences\workshop\seminar giver, highly renowned writer and something of a celebrity, I'm much better placed to answer them. Unfortunatly I am also far, far, far more busy and important than just a blogger.
ReplyDeleteHowever I do wish to pick you up respectfully on the issue of interpreting pointing at daddy.
WTF kind of mini Dictator are you ?
It is COERCIVE to "interprete" her gestures and provide them with a linguistic equivalency. You have to TRUST your child, TRUST the process and assign meanings ONLY when she articulates them AUTONOMOUSLY.
Preferably you should avoid the COERCION of trying to actively TEACH her to speak by using talking as a STEALTH measure of pushing her into fixed meanings assigned to utterances.
If you TRUST your child you will see that she will instinctively speak, on her own timetable, in the manner she chooses, if she chooses to do so at all without any PRESSURE from you with all that talky talky shit going on to try and CONTROL her.
A point at daddy is just a point, until such a time as SHE tells you it means something different. STOP trying to FORCE words into her mouth !! If would hurt her less if you shoved a full sized cucumber down her throat until she chocked !! You have NO IDEA how much DAMAGE you are doing !
I can see there is some deathly lack of free thinking going on leading to a non understand of what it means to be a REAL unschooler.
May I recommend my conference (You Too Could Be a Proper Unschooler Just Like ME and Deserve Your Children - 101)to be held in BackAssOf (TX), a snip at just 2,439 dollars per participant. Organic vegan, soy\casein\wheat\rice\potato\H2O\chemical (even naturally occurring)\heavy metals free buffet with placental whores derves included.
Before you can TRUST your children you have to listen to your instincts and TRUST me to show you what they are telling you !! I have a book available for sale at the conference just in case your instinct is not that good at rote learning.
Obviously as a world expert, conferences\workshop\seminar giver, highly renowned writer and something of a celebrity, I'm much better placed to answer them. Unfortunatly I am also far, far, far more busy and important than just a blogger.
ReplyDeleteHowever I do wish to pick you up respectfully on the issue of interpreting pointing at daddy.
WTF kind of mini Dictator are you ?
It is COERCIVE to "interprete" her gestures and provide them with a linguistic equivalency. You have to TRUST your child, TRUST the process and assign meanings ONLY when she articulates them AUTONOMOUSLY.
Preferably you should avoid the COERCION of trying to actively TEACH her to speak by using talking as a STEALTH measure of pushing her into fixed meanings assigned to utterances.
If you TRUST your child you will see that she will instinctively speak, on her own timetable, in the manner she chooses, if she chooses to do so at all without any PRESSURE from you with all that talky talky shit going on to try and CONTROL her.
A point at daddy is just a point, until such a time as SHE tells you it means something different. STOP trying to FORCE words into her mouth !! If would hurt her less if you shoved a full sized cucumber down her throat until she chocked !! You have NO IDEA how much DAMAGE you are doing !
I can see there is some deathly lack of free thinking going on leading to a non understand of what it means to be a REAL unschooler.
May I recommend my conference (You Too Could Be a Proper Unschooler Just Like ME and Deserve Your Children - 101)to be held in BackAssOf (TX), a snip at just 2,439 dollars per participant. Organic vegan, soy\casein\wheat\rice\potato\H2O\chemical (even naturally occurring)\heavy metals free buffet with placental whores derves included.
Before you can TRUST your children you have to listen to your instincts and TRUST me to show you what they are telling you !! I have a book available for sale at the conference just in case your instinct is not that good at rote learning.
Wow, I'm so glad to see the first question asked - DH and I are currently trying to TTC and we've been dealing with the same issues. I want to have another birth, but I'm just so strongly attached to my LO, I just don't want him to be away from me. Personally, I'm not one for artificial baby jails like boppy pillows. We've found that babywearing while we make love works just fine. When I'm ovulating, I just pull out my wrap and put the 2 year old on my back to DH and I can get to TTC. You know, I seriously wonder sometimes how attached mommies who don't babywear ever manage to have conceive baby #2 at all!
ReplyDeleteObviously as a world expert, conferences\workshop\seminar giver, highly renowned writer and something of a celebrity, I'm much better placed to answer them. Unfortunatly I am also far, far, far more busy and important than just a blogger.
ReplyDeleteHowever I do wish to pick you up respectfully on the issue of interpreting pointing at daddy.
WTF kind of mini Dictator are you ?
It is COERCIVE to "interprete" her gestures and provide them with a linguistic equivalency. You have to TRUST your child, TRUST the process and assign meanings ONLY when she articulates them AUTONOMOUSLY.
Preferably you should avoid the COERCION of trying to actively TEACH her to speak by using talking as a STEALTH measure of pushing her into fixed meanings assigned to utterances.
If you TRUST your child you will see that she will instinctively speak, on her own timetable, in the manner she chooses, if she chooses to do so at all without any PRESSURE from you with all that talky talky shit going on to try and CONTROL her.
A point at daddy is just a point, until such a time as SHE tells you it means something different. STOP trying to FORCE words into her mouth !! If would hurt her less if you shoved a full sized cucumber down her throat until she chocked !! You have NO IDEA how much DAMAGE you are doing !
I can see there is some deathly lack of free thinking going on leading to a non understand of what it means to be a REAL unschooler.
May I recommend my conference (You Too Could Be a Proper Unschooler Just Like ME and Deserve Your Children - 101)to be held in BackAssOf (TX), a snip at just 2,439 dollars per participant. Organic vegan, soy\casein\wheat\rice\potato\H2O\chemical (even naturally occurring)\heavy metals free buffet with placental whores derves included.
Before you can TRUST your children you have to listen to your instincts and TRUST me to show you what they are telling you !! I have a book available for sale at the conference just in case your instinct is not that good at rote learning.
"You know, I seriously wonder sometimes how attached mommies who don't babywear ever manage to have conceive baby #2 at all! "
ReplyDeleteAll the irrefutable evidence from top quality studies show that attached mommies who DON'T babywear simply do not exist.
Without that essential, constant component baby is barely aware of who his\her mother is, let alone has any form of emotional attachment to her.