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Friday, March 25, 2011

Ask Mama Tao--Re-Birth

 
 
Dear Mama Tao, 
 
I will admit, I was birth raped. Not knowing any better, I went to the 
hospital thinking something was "wrong", and the baby was extracted from
 my goddess womb three hours later (some crap about eclampsia). 
Don't they realize my body knew what it was doing?
 
My question is: can I do some kind of ceremony or rebirth of 
little Deadtree? How else is he to have a normal life? 
Can I introduce him into the womb and reintroduce him earthside? 
He is 20 lbs and 29 in. 
 
Thank you for your wisdom!
 
Too embarrassed of my lost goddessness to leave my name
 
 
 
Sent from my iPhone
 
Dear Sent From My iphone,
Today seems to be your lucky day as I have just written a paper on the newest 
practice of Re-birthing by a Doctor from Shulls Mill College. In his reports he 
speaks at great length about things that would make many of us uuncomfortable. 
There is a new method being designed where babies and children are squeezed through
a press while at the same time a watermelon that has been inserted in the Mother's
Yoni is removed. Special pictures are shown during this process while both parent 
and child focus of restoring their relationship. Perhaps this method is a good one
for you as it seems your son has grown too large to actually be shoved back into
your girly bits.
Hope this helps,
~Mama Tao~  

12 comments:

  1. (((((((((((((science))))))))))))

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  2. I hope you will do us the honoring of allowing us to peer review you !! I'll give your five stars !!111!!!

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  3. I just don't know where you find the energy MT !!

    Is there no limit to your talents and time (=

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  4. I found that most informative ! What would we do without pinoneers like this.

    If it weren't for the internet I'd still be listening to my doctor instead of you !!!

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  5. I may try this.

    Can't hurt.

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  6. Doctor from Shulls Mill CollegeMarch 26, 2011 at 1:52 AM

    thank you for your kind words.

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  7. Hallowed be my VaginaMarch 26, 2011 at 1:52 AM

    I bet I could get my 7 yo back in.

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  8. Unless that watermelon detached itself from the vine this is collusion in FRUIT MURDER !!!

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  9. I think this is more effort than it is worth. I think I'd rather just have another baby and try to heal myself that way.

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  10. I already did this, I think somebody is bugging my home !!!!

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  11. It must be emphasized that the watermelon should be an organically grown heirloom variety, and should be plucked from the unwashed ground and immediately inserted to bring its life energy to mama's bereft womb. Mama and baby should be skyclad for proper skin-to-skin bonding during watermelon removal.

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  12. Mama Tao, your wisdom is beyond words. That birth raped person was me!! We have left the birth hut after many moons of tears and rage.I never knew how angry a one year old could be in the aftermath of a birth rape. We are now healed and I have even started to lactate. Now we can bond properly until college! My little Deadtree and I thank you!

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