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Monday, March 21, 2011

Guest Blog- My Dolphin Assisted Birth Rape Story

Here  at Mama Tao, you know I have a a strict no censorship policy. But sometimes friends, I must admit, a story comes along that I simply will not allow to be published in its entirity. The following story is one of those cases. Please ignore the words that have been scratched out for your saftey.

I Had always wanted a dolphin Birth. When my water broke with my latest child we went straight to the large water mammal section of the local zoo, where our midwife let us in the gate.
The water was warm and at first the dolphins were friendly but suddenly I noticed that one of them was coming at me with a huge penis! I didn't even know dolphins had penises!

I don't even want to talk about what happened next, but let's just say it's never a smart idea to get in the water with a horney beast while you have your legs splayed apart! They managed to pull me out of the water but it was too late. I don't recomend dolphin assisted birth!


  1. Oh wow, how ironic,birth rape .....with an actual rape !!!

    Ironic in a really sad face sort of way I mean.

    this is of course why human midwives are far superior to the animal variety. I can't tell you how many one armed mothers I have attended to for their latter births after Chimp|Gorilla|Tiger|Wolf Midwives make a right cock up of things.

    And I don't use cock lightly. I can tell you.

  2. So long, and thanks for all the fish! :)