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Monday, March 14, 2011

Ask Mama Tao

Our question today comes from a woman who is new to the Natural Childbirth Movement. We can forgive her for that. She asks:
Dear Mama Tao,
With my first child my OB decided it was best to give me an episiotomy. My daughter was just over 9lbs and I was grateful for this intervention until I started reading your blog. Now I fear I have been Birth Raped. For my next child I have decided to have a "real" birth and have my baby at home with the help of a “real” practitioner—a CPM! I have everything ready; q-tips, plastic bags and hand sanitizer but I still fear the fact that I might tear again. I have really big babies and I don’t want to have to transfer after to be sewn up. What do I do?
Thanks, Tatum Gilbert
Well Tatum, I hate to be the bearer of unwanted news but why is it exactly, that you want a home birth? Those of us who are birthing Goddesses are aware of the repercussions of our actions and have decided that the journey is more important than the destination. This is particularly true of childbirth.
If your body tears then it tears and you are meant to live with the outcome. I have a friend who posts here regularly, who tore so bad during the birth of her 12lb. 5oz. baby that her two holes became one! Do you think she ran off to some fancy pants Doctor to be sewn up? Hell no!
She stands firmly behind her beliefs and wears diapers! She also found that everything in NATURE has perks! She can now go #1 and #2 at the same time—which is great for us Mamas who need to save time!
Just remember this Tatum, Stitches are for Bitches and Trauma is for Mama!


  1. I'm not sure she should have a home birth either, it sounds like she is just one of those people who want to do it cos it is becoming trendy.

    Mark my words they will ruin it for all of us. It will be impossible to appreciate the bliss and specialness of birth when everybody is doing it the same way as you, stripping the experience of all its freethinking individuality.

    Not everybody is supposed to be out of the box, or out of the box will become the new in the box, leaving some of us with a case of constantly confused claustrophobia.

    There are natural boundaries between goddess-goats and the sheeple, and those who follow birth fashions like they are a fad should stay on the other side of them.

  2. You are both so right. Based on stories I have heard at birth conferences and in issues of Midwifery Today I've learned to question the conventional thinking that all tears required stitches. In fact, from my extensive experience as a doula, I now KNOW that being sewn up will only hinder healing! I don't think Tatum should attempt a homebirth until she can get her head on straight with this issue and let all that *fear* go.

  3. I wonder why you didn't suggest perenial massage? Try putting vegetable oil on an umbrella and gently massaging the vagina with it daily for two or three hours, opening it only to the amount you can stand. Then, trust birth.

  4. Nobody needs stitches - that's so medicalizing! The midwife's secret is DUCT TAPE! Or Duck Tape, depending on what kind of midwifery training you've had.

  5. Wow. The crazies are really coming out tonight!

    A REAL midwife knows that SEAWEED is better than stitches when combined with tying a new mama's legs together and making her lay prone for 2 weeks during her babymoon.

    Just buy some sushi seaweed and apply a new sheet (after you wet it a little) to the tear every two hours around the clock. Be sure to lay on your back all day long and use an ace bandage to tie your knees together so you don't move the torn skin.

    It might be hard from new mamas with other children to be out of commission for two whole weeks, but we know that there are risks to doing what is best for our children and we still choose to do it! It's a much better, more natural, not medicalized solution.