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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Ask Mama Tao

Dear Mama Tao:

I have such a sad tale to relate.  I was waiting at the bus stop, contemplating how lucky I am to be a birthing goddess and wondering how soon I could TTC after my HBA5C last month, when a "woman" seated on the bench next to me pulled out a bottle  and began to Formula Feed her poor infant (it wasn't even a glass bottle--it was PLASTIC!  I mean, how can one person be so UNEDUCATED??)  Naturally, I fled the area in hysterical tears, having been Proximity Raped.  Luckily, I had sewn a healing sage incense stick into the hem of my organic cotton baby sling for just this kind of emergency, and I instantly smudged DD.  But I seek a deeper cleansing ritual to try to rid my baby of toxins.  I need not tell you how important it is to create a protective aura around my rainbow child--she's the only one I've bonded with since she was my only normal birth.  ((((((((((((((Mama Honesty))))))))))))))))  I've already scheduled appointments with my holistic healer and my chiropractor, but I'm desperate for suggestions before then.  Oh, Mama Tao, can you help me????


Panicked in Portland
Dear Panicked,
Normally during a situation like this I would recommend getting pregnant as soon as possible. Considering that this child did not belong to you, I think the only way for you to ease your soul ache is to adopt this poor infant and nurse it with your own sweet milk.
One of the easiest ways to adopt a baby that is not for sale is to call Social Services. Child Protective Workers are notorious for taking children who don't have psychological issues because children who are from genuinely abusive homes are harder to adopt out.
One little erroneous call from you to CPS should get the job done and then that poor baby will be all yours to nurse and bond with. If they are going to formula feed, they should not have had kids in the first place. They don't deserve them!


  1. This is just like me! The people in the apartments above AND below us formula feed! I just KNOW they use all sorts of plastic toys to entertain their babies (I see them through my window and peephole carrying them in - from superstores like Target and Walmart!). :( I am in a state of constant proximity rape. It is devastating to my LO and my marriage. I hope we can move out of here ASAP.

  2. I have CPS on speed dial. All I have to do is leave the homestead and I am bombarded by people who are just not being parents PROPERLY !!

    I saw a baby being given FOOD yesterday. FOOD. that's right not breastmilk. FOOD. Poor little thing was being weaned well before time. Can't have been a day over 4 or 5.

  3. O. M. G. I feel so sorry for that child, Lactavistissimo. Did you call CPS for that? I certainly hope so! Far be it for me to judge, but if I were the mama doing that to my offspring, I would hope someone WOULD call because then I might become educated!