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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Mama Tao's Midwifery Conference

So I am thinking about hosting a NATURAL Midwifery/Organic Mama/Educational Conference soon here in my hometown of Newton, PA. Here are some topics I was thinking about centering in on.
Crafts: Things to do with your placenta and extra vernix
Education: Letting the baby come when it’s damn well ready even if it is two months late
Midwifery: Opening a CPM and DEM booth that registers and trains midwives on the spot!
The Doula Dance: For entertainment
The price will be $1500 for a half day and $3000 for a full day. **Midwifery traing and certification will cost extra**
Please sign up for a booth and leave your ideas below!


  1. Would you be open to yarn barter rather than hard cash ?

  2. Sure! I can always use $3000 worth of yarn!

  3. Deal ! I'm in.

    I'd never really considered midwifery before, but in this economy my woolen arts aren't selling so well so maybe a second string to my bow wouldn't hurt.

    Can't be that difficult, I have several kidlets of my own so I know how it works (=

    How much should I charge my clients ?

  4. That depends on the client and the Yoni--we'll have a pricelist to show you that you can go by. VBACs cost more as usual ( as their might be larger legal bills to pay later)

  5. How much do you think you can get away with, Wool Artist Mama? That's how much you should charge!


  6. CrunchyWaterGoddessMarch 23, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Oh I can't wait!!!! I was thinking about becoming a doula, but if I can become a midwife in just one weekend, it would be soooooooooooooo worth it. It will only take one delivery to cover the conference fees!!

  7. How much would you charge me to be able to have a booth at your conference?I think an orgasmic birth booth could be hit.....we could teach woman how to make sure they ll have an orgasm during the birth.
    Maybe we could slpit the profit 50/50....
    Looking forward to do buisness with you!
    Orgasmic mama.

  8. Goldenwolf MooncloudMarch 23, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    There should also be a section on Lactation Education: how to grab the breast of a woman you barely know and cram it into a baby's mouth, no matter what the mother and baby might think of this at the time!

  9. I'd like to have a booth to sell my important invention. It's a epidural chastity belt. Yes, I am totally a genius.

    It's a belt made of free trade metals. Once it is on, it can be adjusted to accommodate mama's belly bounty and locked in place. It is designed to cover the spot where doctors like to shove needles into unsuspecting natural mamas to deliver unwanted epidurals.

    It is the only item of clothing EVER PROVEN to stop the Cascade of Interventions.

    EVERY birthing woman should wear one. Even if you are planning a UC you need one because you never know if your life partner or your 8 year old will freak out and call 911.

  10. I will take six epidural chasitiy belts right now !!!

    Wonderful stocking fillers for my girls !!11!!

  11. Oh me too !! I want an epidural chastity belt !! The docmonsters keep saying I'm high risk what with the blood pressure, the 200lbs overweight stuff and other variations on normal. I need something to protect my sacred right to a natural birth !! How soon can you get it to me ?

    Do you take pay pal ?