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Saturday, March 12, 2011

Homebirth is Safer Than Going To the Dentist

I’m going to level with you friends, and fellow NATURE nuts. We are getting to the point in our history where we might finally be able to take birth back into our own hands. Homebirths are on the rise as our sisters’ force the medical establishment--with their facts and logic--to pry their sticky and greedy hands off of our collective vaginas.
But there are those out there that doubt their own bodies and try to force that doubt on us. Many people refuse to bow to the beauty of homebirth and continue to insist that it’s a dangerous and archaic practice that forces women to be in hours of stressful pain. They could not be further from the truth.
We here at the Mama Tao know that the pain of childbirth is ours to endure because of the acts of evil committed by Eve in the Garden of Eden…and we believe that every woman deserves this experience for herself. Your child’s birth will be the single most important thing you do in your life. No other moment will live up to this and if you screw it up , you will regret it eternally.
To prove to you doubters once and for all that childbirth is safe, I’d like to go over some facts with you. Going to the dentist is more dangerous than homebirth! Yes, I said it and I can prove it.
What is the first thing a dentist puts in your teeth when you have a cavity? If you said amalgam, you’re correct. But what exactly IS amalgam? I’ll tell you.
Amalgam is MERCURY! That’s right. When you open up your mouth for that dentist, he fills your busted tooth hole with Satan’s own piss! According to Wikipedia Mercury is “the only metal that is liquid at standard conditions for temperature and pressure;”
That’s right friends! Mercury is LIQUID at room temperature—how unnatural is that? And how exactly does that relate to homebirth? Let me tell you.
The risk of infant death in homebirth is 2.7 for every 1000 babies born. That seems like a lot, but it’s not when you compare it to the damage done by a dentist. For every 1000 people who get amalgam fillings 1000 people get exposed to Mercury! That’s right folks—you are a bizillion times more likely to be exposed to mercury than you are to lose you baby during a home birth—and those my friends, are the facts.


  1. Thank you for putting that into perspective for me. Stats are so HARD !

    I'm bristling at the though that the mouths that flap at us ,saying giving birth at home is somehow more "risky" (how counter intuitive can you GET !), are actually caverns emanating heavy metals at innocent bystanders.

    A timely warning to take ten steps back anytime somebody talks to you to avoid passive mercury poisoning !!

    Thank goodness I undentist as well as unschool.

  2. Thank you Uber! So many people use stats to compair apples to oranges! I like to give the real numbers!

  3. EXACTLY !!

    I particularly like how you made it easy to grasp the relative risk and illustrated it to highlight to what extent the danger were NOT equivalent. I mean come on, who doesn't know that mercury is something you should instinctively be VERY afraid of.

    It's the very definition of they stick it in people's mouths ! That's just so nuts.

    The world would have been a better place if it had never been invented.