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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Novocain Is For Sissies!



I went in for my yearly visit with my Holistic Dentist yesterday and was about to get the normal shot full of Novocain, when it suddenly occurred to me “People have been having their teeth worked on for years without medication!” And what good has come of Novocain?Cocaine  --that's right!
So we all know that meds for labor are UNNATURAL, but what we fail to often realize is that it is just as unnatural to receive painkillers for any type of pain. I know many a Mama who pushed for over a week trying to bring her little bub Earthside and then went over to the tooth doctor and got a nice shot of the good stuff—some even went as far as being knocked out for a wisdom tooth removal (which is just stupid as there are natural ways to get your wisdom teeth to move out of the way with some daily gnashing).
With this is mind, fellow natural Mama’s, I decided to try a little experiment and go my root canal sans drugs! I was going to have some drug free oral surgery!
There are some things I never noticed about the dental process until I took my turn at not being a wuss. For one, everyone is aware of that nasty drill hum while surfacing and the crack of roots being upturned during an extraction. When you go drug free you are suddenly unable to hear these sounds! Nature has a wonderful way of shielding us from this grotesque procedure by covering the noise with our own beautiful and NATURAL screams! The howling was so loud I managed to totally mute even the loudest of drill bits!
So take this lesson from Mama Tao—EVERYONE was meant to have NATURAL root canals and extractions. It is how to world was designed, just as we are also meant to naturally birth our children. The best part of the entire thing was that the breathing exorcises worked just about as well for dentistry as they do for NATURAL labor! We have already acquired the tools for NATURAL dentistry!
So next time, so sissy Monmtype tells you her face is still numb from her wisdom tooth removal, take this time to boast and show off your invisible medal of hardcore Mommy-dom! You , my friends, are not SISSIES!

10 comments:

  1. you go to a holistic dentist to get your teeth extracted?! i extract my teeth at home ALONE, yes UNASSISTED EXTRACTIONS, no dental rape for me!

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  2. Crunchier Than ThouMarch 22, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    I'm disappointed in you, Mama Tao, and supercrunchy. Holistic Dentists just bait-and-switch you. They don't truly believe in the body's ability to preserve your healthy teeth. I've never had a cavity and I have the whitest teeth ever and crisp, fresh breath. I don't even have to use herbs or brush. I just spend 3 hours a week meditating on clean, healthy teeth and I have them!

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  3. I refused to have my wisdom teeth removed, what most people don't realize is that they were named that for a reason !!

    You let a dentist tooth-rape you and next thing you know you won't be able to research global conspiracies at the university of Google with the same ease.

    Wisdom tooth rape makes you STUPID ! Doh!!

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  4. Hallowed be my VaginaMarch 22, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Organic you a such a P*N*S !!

    The woman has just had her wisdom teeth out and you say what you said ?

    that is just an underhand way of calling Mama Tao stupid, you judgmental T*ST*CL*

    I for one do not appreciate you making yourself feel good at her expense, it just is SO not part of the Natural Woman ethos.

    I really feel sorry for you, it must be difficult being such a PR*ST*T*

    God knows how your children must suffer having somebody not up near my own standards of parenting for a so called mother.

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  5. Errr, Hallowed be your unwashed Vagina...

    Natural menstrual sea sponge calling the neti pot wet donchathink ?

    Don't you diss my moonsister !

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  6. Mamatao, when you mentioned your vocalizations, I must admit that Zeb and I had tooth orgasms! Thanks, and bless you!

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  7. you let a male dentist put his hands in your mouth? ewww!!!! not me! I went lotus tooth extraction all the way - I just left my molar alone until it naturally rotted away and fell out of my mouth. That way my body was able to re-absorb the nutrient-rich plaque.

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  8. Actually dentistry I don't do "natural".

    It is the one area where I am prepared to submit to science, because the evidence in favor of it is indisputable.

    It is irrational to anything else.

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  9. ModerateBertha, time and time again you amaze me with your open-mindedness and sense of real balance. I certainly don't agree with most of your compromised viewpoints, since they reek of the influence of BigPharma (TM) and other things that are the epitome of all that is evil. Still, I do think you bring an important contrary viewpoint to what we do here. Hugz!

    ((((((((((My Own Obvious Open-Mindedness))))))))))

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  10. Remember, if you focus your thoughts, you will not feel any pain from the drill. You will feel surges washing over you, starting at the drill site and penetrating your brain to its core. The natural epinephrine "high" you experience will then wash away the surges...and you will have your Orgasmic Root Canal!

    Whatever you do, do not allow your dentist to refer you to an endodontist - that will lead to the Cascade of Interventions! Insist that the dental hygenist do the drilling. She will have a closer bond with you and a better understanding of your individual mouth's needs. Endodontists only ever see high-risk teeth, they don't know what "normal" mouths look like! Your dental hygenists have seen dozens of normal mouths, they will be well-equipped to assist your natural tooth care.

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