By Goldenwolf Mooncloud
My twins, Mushroom and Seagull, have just turned two! I can hardly believe it. I also have several other children: ten year old son Quicksilver Bean, nine year old son Jupiter Odin, seven year old daughter Jane (she was adopted at age three… I still haven’t gotten used to that name), six year old son Stormy Rainbow, and four year old daughter Resplendent Quetzal. You must be thinking the same thing I am… that’s not nearly enough! I decided last mooncycle that it was time for another baby. The only problem was, I just couldn’t seem to find that spark. My life partner, Mustang, has just taken on a fourth job to help out with our costs, and so often he’s only home when the kids are all lined up and awaiting their turn to breastfeed. So it’s hard to find time to get to work on baby number eight. It doesn’t help matters that my beautiful womanly Yoni seems to be lacking energy. I just didn’t have much desire to be intimate!
Well, obviously we can’t have that. I don’t feel complete without a pregnant, henna-painted belly. And I don’t own any non-maternity clothes any more. Also, Quicksilver and Jupiter are starting to show signs of weaning (such a sad milestone, mamas!), and it would be a shame to waste all of my bountiful, nutritious milk! So, baby number eight it is!
Mustang and I tried all sorts of ways to raise my libido. We tried a great Yoni Yoga program that a guru I know published. It helped some, but not enough. We tried goddess chants, but that made me less interested in Mustang than ever – it did make me enjoy my Yoni myself, though, if you know what I mean! In desperation, Mustang decided to go the mainstream (ugh!)] route and he brought home flowers and chocolates for me! Well, mamas, let me tell you, those chocolates WORKED. I just insert one chocolate vaginally every evening, and we are having better (although messier) sex than ever! I can’t recommend it enough! It makes total sense – I mean, we all know that vaginal garlic cures group B strep, and of course vaginal evening primrose will start labor in no time. Well, add a new remedy to those traditional wise woman cures : vaginal chocolate will fix low libido in a jiffy! Baby number eight, we can’t wait to meet you soon!
It must be all those natural antioxidants repairing your libido! I assume it is fair trade organic chocolate, right?
ReplyDeleteOh Mama, Mustang, Mushroom, Seagull, Quicksilver Bean, Jupiter Odin, Jane, Stormy Rainbow, and Resplendent Quetzal!! This is a blessing!! May the goddesses smile upon your uterus and make your placenta bountiful!!
ReplyDeleteI knew my wife was using the chocolates I gave her wrong!
ReplyDeleteI hope that is dark chocolate and not disgusting non vegan MILK chocolate !!
ReplyDeleteMy Dear,
ReplyDeleteEven before the unfortunate "crock pot as a vagina" incident I had already discovered that baby making with my husband Quentin could be simplified by a less invasive process.
In fact the goddess seems to approve of feminine handling only of her faithful Yoni Disciple.
You could always mix it with melted chocolate if you wanted to make it more romantic. Or even Rose Petals. there is just no limit to the number of combinations of thing you can shove up your vagina in order to get your body to do what you want ( =
For the LAST TIME Eldie, that was NOT me posting !!
ReplyDeleteCrock pot as a vagina ?
ReplyDelete????????????????????????
It is a tragic story of betrayal, the evidence is over at the Victorious New Age Yoni Owners V Evil ZdoggMD Smackdown transcripts.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/update_security_info.php?wizard=1#!/home.php?sk=group_195034557202715
Hi !! My homeopath says I have to stop drinking coffee cos that is why my remeides aren't working, can I douche with coffee to wake me up in the morning instead ?
ReplyDeleteI think this is just a marketing ploy from Big Chocolate.
ReplyDelete@AltMed *sigh* only if you think it's safe to expose your unborn child to toxins like caffeine. *shakes head*
ReplyDeletecoffee is a TOXIN ?!?!!?
ReplyDeleteOMG I must detox immediatly, quick somebody give me an enema !!!
Syan, of COURSE it's all organic, fair trade, vegan dark chocolate - I should have specified! No other chocolate is worthy of my Yoni!
ReplyDeleteI was very disappointed to hear that you are not also nursing your husband. He needs that good milk also. Does you have your husband milk you so that you can get the good milk too. If you don't you should. I think that would raise your libido too. I know it does for me.
ReplyDeleteThere is just something about being on my hands and knees and being milked like a cow that just does something for me. I don't know if it is because I know that I will be getting the awesome juice form heaven. Drinking my own milk is almost organsmic for me.
We are so head of the times who needs food storage win I have the best food storage ever. My milk is super power who needs anything else.
Milking Mommy, while many natural mamas do need to nurse their partners, we are so fortunate - Mustang's dear mother Oaktree lives next door and nurses him! She is an inspiration, still nursing Mustang (age 33) as well as three of his siblings (there are two others who refuse to nurse - we don't like to talk about them). In fact, I'm hoping Oaktree's advice and support can help me get through this rough spot with Quicksilver and Jupiter not wanting to nurse!
ReplyDeleteGoldenwolf good for you. I am thrilled that your husband is till able to get milk form his mom. How about you does your mother live on the other side and nurse you still, or do you prefer your own.
ReplyDeletePersonally I still enjoy my moms from time to time.Especially when I am sick, because I know that her milk is meant for me and she has all the antibodies that I need to get feeling better faster.Plus it is so nice that we can still bond. Not only that but usually I am on one side and a sibling on the other. At the same time I am nursing 2 of my children.
The bonding is incredible. Empowering to be exact.
Actually, Milking Mommy, my own mother is sadly duped by modern western medicine. *sigh* I keep working on her hoping she'll eventually realize the wisdom of women's ways of knowing, but right now she doesn't appreciate natural living. But that's ok - Oaktree has plenty of milk to go around, so I get my share too!
ReplyDeleteSo may I ask a personal question, how long did your mom nurse you? I feel so sorry for you. Your mom is so selfish. I am glad that your MIL is willing to nurse you. She sounds like a angle from heaven.
ReplyDeleteSo do you and your hubby nurse at the same time. That must be on awesome bonding time.
OT but I just have to share. We are having a huge family reunion and when we do we of course all co-sleep. We had to rent out a sport center just to sleep. In my own house it takes 3 king size beds for us all to co-sleep. With all of the ladies nursing multiple children/generations we are thinking about getting one of those cow milking machine. I know that it isn't the best way to bond, but this way it will give us more time to braid each others hair and do other things that we higher thinking women do.