Ask Mama Tao-Of Lice and Men

These look a lot like Crabs!

Dear Mama Tao,

I have a very big problem that I'm hoping you can help with.  My daughter has lice.  Now, I don't want to say that lice are inferior to humans or anything like that, but I'd kind of like them to live somewhere other than her head (or my head--gasp, I know that's selfish).  How can I get rid of them without hurting any of them?  I found an all natural, organic lice treatment, but it kills them just like those nasty chemicals do.  Isn't that insane?  An all natural product that KILLS?  We all know that all natural=healthy, so I think the product packaging must be false. 

Here's what we've tried:

Singing marching songs to the lice
Covering her head in breast milk

Nothing has worked.  Please help.

Signed,

Desperate


Dear Desparate,

A few years ago there was a wonderful movie that came out involving Brad Pitt's special relationship with the Buddha. It was called something like "Seven Years in Dubai" or some such nonsense. The reason I refer you is mainly that there was this one scene where the little Egyptian people were digging worms out of the dirt so the slimy critters would not die by construction!

My suggestion to you is that you get out your handy tweezers and holler a few Jainist chants:

Oh, I went down South for to see my Sal

singing Polly wolly doodle all the day

my Sal, she am a spunky gal

sing Polly wolly doodle all the day!

Then just transfer the little darlins' over to those mainstream Mamas who always be wrecking your play dates!


If you decide to go this route, please for the love of Goddess, film it and send it to me!


~Mama Tao~