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Friday, April 22, 2011

Checking In With Our Contest

So the Mama Tao site has been a live with young, green Mama's rapping they hearts out against each other and a Mr. Dr. ZdoggMD. Today I'd like to give you a seek peek at what I feel is the very best we have gotten from our lovely readers.

Tupac was breastfed
Amy became a medium for Tupac in the Other World, and he seems to have a lot to say about Vaccines. She/Tupac Writes:

Here's my attempt to get my vax on, yo.... (It helps if you think of Tupac while reading it...)

Oh, what glory art thou you hairy-legged granola
Upon organic cotton kneepads you pray to Mercola
You deny Pasteur's theory like some chiro from Pensacola
Next time we'll send you to clean up the Ebola

Using useless foot baths said "toxins" you purge
Like an old-timey nitwit on magic water you splurge
Add a dash and a half of Allegheny Mountain Spurge
Which you hear is dang good at clearing up any scourge

It's a shame that your son's matrilineal sib
Had to mainline the antibiotics after a case of the HiB
Because you didn't vax and still manage to be glib
But you ain't Harry Potter, just a silly old squib

Your profile pic is your guns, and corvettes
Now you seem to be blonds but you were once brunettes
Detox that hair dye with raw milk meant only for pets
Talk so much nonsense that I think you might have Tourettes

And you'll convince other fools to overdose on the D
Even though you don't have any medical degree
But you went to community college and took accounting, you see
So you dole out the woo while clearly drunk on chablis

And I will scoff at the liters of coconut water
That you pour down their throats 'cuz some anti-science blogger
Told you it could prevent the same kind of slaughter
From the virus that killed Roald Dahl's 7 year old daughter

And your kids will bite mine at the preschool down the hill
'Cuz you were so busy detoxing that their manners are ill
I'll vaccinate mine and rely on others' goodwill
While you put your kids' lives in the hands of a snake oil shill

Word to the vaxxin' muthas...

Jay-Z likes the Womyn with the Hairy legs.

Our good friend Earthshod took her inspiration from rapper Jay-Z and his song. She writes:

If you're havin' germ problems, I feel bad for you, son.
I got 99 problems, but a vaxx ain't one.

I got...
Babes with rotavirus shittin' out they ears,
Flu season in my family lasting 18 years.
But, I'm educated, hey can't you see?
My kids know they hepatitis A, B, C's
Before they reach my knees,
So, nigga, please.
Hit me!
I'd text 'bout my polio party if I could move my thumbs.
I got 99 problems but a vaxx ain't one

I got...
No access to my booze 'cause my cabinets have locks,
But I don't give a damn if my kids get the pox.
Small? Chicken? It don't matter.
Spreadin' rubella and pertussis like idle chatter.
Measles is for weasels and the mumps is for chumps.
I got 99 problems, but a vaxx ain't one.
Hit me!
99 problems, but a vaxx ain't one.

Earthshod also asks that we go here, hit vote and search for "Earthshod". Give her some thumbs up :)

Young MC was a fan of Anti-vax

Lastly, we are graced with a lovely rendition of "Bust a Move" By our very own Sister Gypsymilk:

Bust it...

This here's a jam for all all the mamas
Doing just what our chiros tell us
Don't get shots cuz they're overzealous
Catch chickenpox, your friends are jealous

Okay smarty, influenza party
Kids are hacking up phlegm and super snotty
But you did all your research on the web -!
And you're so not afraid of a childhood flu

Next day's function
Homeschool luncheon
Vegan's served but your panties are bunchin'
Kids sit down and they start to play
But the toys are all toxic so you say, "No way."

A kid start's coughin'
Moms start gawkin'
One sits next to you and starts talkin'
Says she treats her kids with some remedies
So she's not so worried 'bout invasive disease

An evil mission, doctor's dishin'
Drugs that cause a mental condition
Lookin' for health in all the wrong places
Shot-up kids are spectrum cases

From frustration, first inclination
Is to join MDC and decry the situation
But every good mama knows she's in the right
Keeping her kids safe from allopathic blight

Mercola's showin'
So you're goin'
Bring along the playsilks you're sewin'
Yurt gets dark just to start the show
And you spot a Real Mama sitting in your row
She eats organic
Birth's orgasmic
Man's "restored" and she doesn't do plastic
Says her kids have Hib but it's all just fine
Cuz' righteous mamas know these things are all benign

Do you think you could rhyme these Yoni's under the table? Submit your own rap in the comments here.


  1. Maybe you can get The Refusers to sing these on their next album! Their "Vaccine Gestapo" is one of my favorites:

  2. Oh my HEAVENS! These poor unfortunate rappers have certainly been brainwashed! And, no Tupac obviously was NOT breastfed. Studies prove that breastmilk prevents death from gunshot by producing bullet and acne proof skin! That JayZ fellow looks dreamy though...