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Friday, April 15, 2011

7 Recipes for Giving Your Child Down's Syndrome

By Jade Jymson

Ladies, recently I was reading a wonderful work of art written by a Ms. Gloria Lemay. Many of you might know  her as the high school dropout turned Certified Practicing Midwife.  One her lovely blog  she recently posted and lovely article that apparently had two titles. Title number one was “7 Recipes for Causing Autism!” but apparently the natives were hostile to the idea so she changed it to  “7 Recipes for Scrambling the Brain of a Baby”. That’s much better!
Following in her lead I have compiled my own list of 7 things you must do IF you want to give your child Down's syndrome!
1)      Read ANY books or scientific studies. The worst enemy of a baby in the womb is knowledge gained from anywhere but the almighty Internet. Since many of you come here for your information, your little bubs should be safe.
2)      Drinking any soda or liquids with bubbles in it. Bubbles cause extra gas in your tummy and irritate the uterus causing a slight cramp which leads to Down's Syndrome. You following me, here? Good!
3)      Eating a diet that contains meat. Eating an only vegan diet is the way to stay safe. Humans were never meant to eat meat and one can prove this by the fact that our back teeth and flat and our front teeth are sharp for ripping and tearing garden veggies!
4)      Listening to the radio. Radio waves are made from sounds and we all know that sounds scramble our brains and even mutate future generations.  Bats use sound waves to see and everyone knows that bats are insane—thus the term “Bat Shit Crazy”
5)      Having negative thoughts. Our thoughts directly create the truths of the future. A situation is only managed by your positive or negative energy. You CAN think your way out of situations using positive energy.
6)      Birthing your baby in a hospital. All hospitals have a potion that gives children Down's Syndrome and they have to produce a certain amount per year to meet quota and keep their government funding. Don’t trust them with your little one.
7)      Use Disposable diapers.  I know that many of you are wondering how this is possible but it is very true that children can actually get Down's Syndrome after they are born and even up to a year. What it is NOT is a genetic issue, M’kay? Oh, and diapers cause it!

 So there you have it ladies! And now that you all know the truth I expect to see the numbers of babies with Down's Syndrome to go crashing DOWN!


  1. As I stand over my cauldron boiling my son's cloth nappies I feel rejuvenated by these reminders. Thanks!

  2. As far as diapers go, NONE is best. The detergents used to wash cloth diapers contain toxins that transdermally infiltrate to your baby's brain turning them into detergent-zombies!

  3. elimination communication is the only way to toilet train your baby. When she poos on your knee, just wipe it away with a dried corn cob.

  4. LOL SeaGoddess13's comment is hilarious. Babies movie, huh?

  5. Ulrike Woodandfelt, ND, CPM, Holistic MinisterApril 15, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    There are some other causes of Down syndrome that I learned about when I studied naturopathy for 4 years in 3 places in Germany. Ultrasound is a huge reason for Down syndrome, as well as autism. This occurs for 2 reasons. First, the ultrasound creates heat which denatures the cerebral proteins, or in other words, cooks the baby's brain. It damages other tissue as well but nervous system tissue is very susceptible to thermal injury. Also, the sound waves directly disrupt the transfer of theta particles from the placenta. Speculum exams using metal speculums are also very dangerous. Metal speculums are placed in an autoclave between uses, and the high heat and delta rays generated by the autoclave cause the stainless steel to degrade and become unstable. When the destabilized steel contacts the acidic vaginal secretions, small but dense amounts of mercury vapors are released. These vapors damage the reproductive tract, especially the eggs, which lead to many congenital disorders. Also, this is one of the main ways that cervical cancer is transmitted. Of course, obstetricians know this. The problems created by these 2 techniques result in a very lucrative business for them, of course.

    If you've had a speculum exam or an ultrasound though, I want to reassure you that the damage can be undone! Through the use of flower essences, homeopathy, craniosacral release, and a new technique that I have discovered. I offer a yoni/aura deep cleanse detox, which I accomplish through a 30 day regimen of urine drinking, hot stone suppositories which I infuse with garlic and anti-theta particles, and cranial fluid taps. I use large-bore hollow acupuncture needles (never auto-claved!) and a ball-peen hammer for the latter. Please feel free to contact me if you are in need of healing!

  6. I wish I had know this BEFORE i listened to teh raido....Grrr

  7. OMG you're a genius

  8. Why thank you! ;) Wait...are you a real doctor? You're not welocme here medmosnter :P