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| No Longer Enough !! |
We anti vaxxers must move with the times!!
Waving placards, screaming on court steps trying to look like there are load on us when the news cameras are rolling, frothing all over parenting forums and blogs....it's just not enough anymore.
A new media is taking the wrong message to the people, and it is very seductive to the young, which is terrible considering that watching the video transmits theta particle rays that convince people to go out and get immunized !!
We do not have a huge Big Pharma conspiracy pay off at our disposal in the manner of ZDoggMD, so we can't make a big budget video like he did, but where there is a will there is a way !!
Considering how many of our children are unschooled there is a whole sea of creativity just waiting to be tapped, so today we announce a competition for the Anti ZdoggMD Anti vax response.
The winner will received detailed construction tips to make a placenta teddy !!
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| A natural mama's firm favorite ! |
Please leave your rap in the comments for judging.
Please see the "No you can't" video response to Will.I.AM's "Yes, we can" for inspiration, we need to reach for the stars just like the McCain camp did !
To the tune of Men in Black
ReplyDeleteHere come the Anti Vaxs
(Uh it's the A.T.V.'s)
(Uh here come the A.T.V.'s)
Here come the Anti Vaxs (Anti Vaxs)
They will let you learn the fear
Nah, nah, nah,
The good guys are anti vax, remember that,
Just in case we ever face to face and make a pact.
The title held by me... A.T.V.
Means what you think you thought, you no more believe.
So don't vax,
Think what was there but now's autism.
Black Pharma with the Theta Ray Gun's on.
Talk in pseudoscience, move in groupthink,
Guard against extra-vaccination violence.
But yo we ain't on no government list.
Jenny MaCarthy's body count don't exist,
No names and no immunize.
Saw Dr Wakefield,
Got his back.
Cause you never quite know where the A.T.V.'s is at,
Uh and...
Here come the Anti Vaxs
(Uh it's the A.T.V.'s)
(Uh here come the A.T.V.'s)
Here come the Anti Vaxs (Anti Vaxs)
They will let you learn the fear
Here's my attempt to get my vax on, yo.... (It helps if you think of Tupac while reading it...)
ReplyDeleteOh, what glory art thou you hairy-legged granola
Upon organic cotton kneepads you pray to Mercola
You deny Pasteur's theory like some chiro from Pensacola
Next time we'll send you to clean up the Ebola
Using useless foot baths said "toxins" you purge
Like an old-timey nitwit on magic water you splurge
Add a dash and a half of Allegheny Mountain Spurge
Which you hear is dang good at clearing up any scourge
It's a shame that your son's matrilineal sib
Had to mainline the antibiotics after a case of the HiB
Because you didn't vax and still manage to be glib
But you ain't Harry Potter, just a silly old squib
Your profile pic is your guns, and corvettes
Now you seem to be blonds but you were once brunettes
Detox that hair dye with raw milk meant only for pets
Talk so much nonsense that I think you might have Tourettes
And you'll convince other fools to overdose on the D
Even though you don't have any medical degree
But you went to community college and took accounting, you see
So you dole out the woo while clearly drunk on chablis
And I will scoff at the liters of coconut water
That you pour down their throats 'cuz some anti-science blogger
Told you it could prevent the same kind of slaughter
From the virus that killed Roald Dahl's 7 year old daughter
And your kids will bite mine at the preschool down the hill
'Cuz you were so busy detoxing that their manners are ill
I'll vaccinate mine and rely on others' goodwill
While you put your kids' lives in the hands of a snake oil shill
Word to the vaxxin' muthas...
Ok Ok here is mine (Sung to the tune of Cypress Hill's Dr. Greenthumb)
ReplyDeleteDr GreenMum
Hello Dr. GreenMum, paging Dr. GreenMum!"
Hello my name is Dr. GreenMum
I'd like to tell you all that I'm dumb
In the hills where the trees grow wild with herb fields
The effing Docs with pills holding the blue Cross sheilds
Greenhouse effect with the herb connect
(Doctor) FDA can't keep GreenMum in check (Doctor!)
CPS, God Bless the whole crop
Please God, don't let me see no Docs
Trunkload, ready to hit the playdate
Don't let the creamy' mums fly by my gate
or we gonna have Vaccine trouble, that's no shit
Can't be going to school without it
but eff that, I study the Wakefeild trip
That way when they come they can suck my milky tit
Herbs can't grow without attention
Hello my name is Dr. GreenMum
Holy s*** people. Off the chain! Interesting choices of parody as well...Men in Black? Wow. Dr. Greenthumbs? Holy. Tupac NOS (not otherwise specified)? Gasp.
ReplyDeleteY'all are hired, even if you believe in voodoo, Santeria, or the great pumpkin.
There once was a man from Nantucket....
ReplyDeleteTo the "tune" of 99 Problems by Jay-Z
ReplyDeleteIf you're havin' germ problems, I feel bad for you, son.
I got 99 problems, but a vaxx ain't one.
I got...
Babes with rotavirus shittin' out they ears,
Flu season in my family lasting 18 years.
But, I'm educated, hey can't you see?
My kids know they hepatitis A, B, C's
Before they reach my knees,
So, nigga, please.
Hit me!
I'd text 'bout my polio party if I could move my thumbs.
I got 99 problems but a vaxx ain't one
I got...
No access to my booze 'cause my cabinets have locks,
But I don't give a damn if my kids get the pox.
Small? Chicken? It don't matter.
Spreadin' rubella and pertussis like idle chatter.
Measles is for weasels and the mumps is for chumps.
I got 99 problems, but a vaxx ain't one.
Hit me!
99 problems, but a vaxx ain't one.
(If I win, let my prize be that you vote for me in another funny rap contest. Go to http://www.youtube.com/magnumlivelarge, hit "Gallery" search for "earthshod" and hit thumbs up.)
Will do! That's a good rap there Earthshod!
ReplyDeleteDone :D
ReplyDeleteOh hell yeah, Earthshod takes that s**t!
ReplyDeleteRapped to the tune of "Bust a Move"
ReplyDeleteBust it...
This here's a jam for all all the mamas
Doing just what our chiros tell us
Don't get shots cuz they're overzealous
Catch chickenpox, your friends are jealous
Okay smarty, influenza party
Kids are hacking up phlegm and super snotty
But you did all your research on the web - whale.to!
And you're so not afraid of a childhood flu
Next day's function
Homeschool luncheon
Vegan's served but your panties are bunchin'
Kids sit down and they start to play
But the toys are all toxic so you say, "No way."
A kid start's coughin'
Moms start gawkin'
One sits next to you and starts talkin'
Says she treats her kids with some remedies
So she's not so worried 'bout invasive disease
An evil mission, doctor's dishin'
Drugs that cause a mental condition
Lookin' for health in all the wrong places
Shot-up kids are spectrum cases
From frustration, first inclination
Is to join MDC and decry the situation
But every good mama knows she's in the right
Keeping her kids safe from allopathic blight
Mercola's showin'
So you're goin'
Bring along the playsilks you're sewin'
Yurt gets dark just to start the show
And you spot a Real Mama sitting in your row
She eats organic
Birth's orgasmic
Man's "restored" and she doesn't do plastic
Says her kids have Hib but it's all just fine
Cuz' righteous mamas know these things are all benign
Oh hell Amy and Earthshod! We have another contender here! You go sister gypsymilk!
ReplyDeleteDude! I'm a little bit in love with Gypsymilk right about now. All bow and hail. That move is anything but busted.
ReplyDeleteMama Tao, your evil hippie blog keeps swallowing, unvaccinating, then deleting my comments. I tried earlier to say that if Gypsymilk can get a belief transplant, she can write rhymes for us any day! That s**t was hella fly, 2 legit 2 quit and all dat.
ReplyDeleteThe Sister (Sista?) only busts hot raps for the good of womynkind. Or, for discounts on family cloth.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't know, you better ask somebody.
You betta Ask sum budd-ehhhh
ReplyDelete