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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Velociraptor FusterCluck

Strange things mean a lot to us here at The Mama Tao. Ebola, while deadly and gross to some, is a point of high humor for us more educated and dainty types. It's sort of been a running gag for some time now.

Thus the topic of this day's post has to do more with "The [Fine] Art of War" than any real parody.

You see when the Taoites go out "hunting" it can be a vicious thing [See just about any thread we are on]. Why, pray tell, is it such a bloody massacre every single time? Because, dear readers, we hunt like a pack of Velociraptors on crack.

It turns out that the scaley birds of prey were not at all stupid [Source:Jurassic Park] They were smart and fast and full of teeth that gnash and claws that gut a man chin to pynis.
So what does this have to do with anything? It turns out that Velociraptors are fecking awesome!! And so are we.

When we go out hunting it really does look a lot like this:

Yes Ladies and Mysoginists, this is a fine example of what we have begun to call the Velociraptor FusterCluck.

The best part is...we even have this cool picture to put on our profiles when we attack

Be sure and join the Facebook group of people who are scared of us.


  1. I'm curious, what exactly is your level of education?

  2. I was 100% unschooled! We don't have levels-- Just variations of normal.

  3. I don't want to assume that this means that you have had no real education. There seems to be some legitimate medical content on your page.

  4. Really? Where?

    Throw a dart somewhere between high school and a Ph.D and there you shall find me, Sir!

  5. For example, you reference placenta previa as if you know about it and its complications. Most women who have not experienced it themselves do not.

    High School, Associates <--, Bachelors, Graduate

    You antagonize me. But I do not want to be rude. I perceive that you value education and rationality. Perhaps this is why you take such extreme measures. For those of us that have been impacted by your actions as of late, it would be helpful to know of your credentials (as we (I) know it is not unschooling).

    Since you strongly back up your taoists, perhaps you wouldn't mind backing up your level of education, publicly and honestly.

  6. A) I know nothing personally about previa
    B) What actions of mine have impacted you?
    C) There is no need for varification because there is nothing validate. What would I be backing with my educational background? This is a parody, not WebMD.

  7. It is more than a parody. People have been emotionally crushed by the way in which you have displayed your opinions.

    It is reasonable to tell a blog reader that if they do not like the content of your blog, to move on. It is a different story when you develop an (uneducated) opinion, and publicly push it on others (facebook).

    You have become a mini-"icon" for your cause. It would be good to know that you aren't offending people (and you are) just for the fun of it.

    To answer your question, you would be backing up your right to have a public voice about these issues.

  8. So, who have I crushed? Words can't crush people. Only heavy objects can do that.

  9. ...Sigh...

    If I must play games:

    crush |krə sh |
    verb [ trans. ]
    • (of a government or state) violently subdue (opposition or a rebellion) : the government had taken elaborate precautions to crush any resistance.
    • bring about a feeling of overwhelming disappointment or embarrassment in (someone) : his defeat crushed a lot of left-wing supporters | [as adj. ] ( crushing) the news came as a crushing

  10. So what are you saying that I did exactly? Who was said victim? How did I crush them? Parody is the greatest form of flattery...

  11. I’m just going to nip this in the bud. I’m tired and I don’t have time to play with you. As far as harassing people of Facebook, I have hardly been on in the last 24 hours.
    Let me explain something to you, John. And perhaps with this explanation you will get an Idea of MY education…

    The United States Constitution gives me the right to freedom of speech. You can find it in the Bill of Rights which is usually considered to be the first ten Amendments of said constitution. Now, in case you get it through you thick head that the first amendment was not written so that I could make fun of whoever it is you think I have crushed. Please think again.
    The US Supreme Court backs me as well and was set into precedent by Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell, 485 U.S 46 (1988). The case outcome stated that as long as a reasonable person was able to see that a work is a parody, they are excluded from libel. Ain’t that some shit?
    As far as it being Ethical, well that’s not really as issue as “ethical” is different from everyone. So, I don’t really think you have anything else to argue with, Bub. Your cards are on the table and you got nothing.

  12. Dude, give it up! There are many sites like ours out there. If a person chooses to get upset over something, that is on them, nobody else. We give people permission to have power over us. I would love to know who this site has harmed as well.

  13. John, since when does having a valid or popular opinion require any level of education? Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, John D. Rockefeller all lacked a college degree and still defined their fields.
    Would being told douching with broken glass and sulfuric acid was good for you cary more weight if JJ had a MD in obstetrics?
    Would being told douching with broken glass and sulfuric acid was not so good for you be considered bullshit if you found out JJ was a high school drop out?

    Questioning a persons credentials when they make common sense statements of opinion seems a bit trite.

  14. Mama Tao is the BOMBDIGGITY!!

  15. I like that. You gave a good case against a good argument, albeit, one I wasn't going to offer. The law does a piss poor job of encouraging personal (intrinsic) responsibility. As it should. At some point, we are supposed to pick up the slack...or perhaps we were supposed to have had it in the first place.

    Do you practice medical law?

  16. whatevs....this is yawn. I wanna lurn more about how to use herbs to make a breech baby turn during labur at home.

  17. Quit being such a girl John and start following blogs about trucks, guns or sports. This is for womyn only.


    The other John

  18. Someone is CRUSHED by this blog? Really? You do realize that they don't have to read it, right? If a parody bothers someone to the point of emotional damage, they have much bigger problems- how would one function in the real world if they wre that easily "crushed"? REALLY! get over it.

    Here are the golden rules of the web, for those who didn't know-
    There's no such thing as privacy online.

    Velociraptors, in formation.

  19. if you need a medical degree to offer satirical opinions, most blogs would be shut down.

    MAMA TAO 4 EVER!!!!!

  20. Shame on you, Mama Tao!

    You know you have to be an accredited crusher in order to crush! You do not have a license to crush!

    Crushinator Crushington CPC, Fellow of the American Academy of Crushing

  21. Nicely put, John.