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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Placenta Of Faith



 Guest post by Nicolette de Placentra
Even before the birth of my first child out of 9, I knew I wanted to do something very special for their Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah`s. After consulting my Rabbi and midwife and searching my inner energies for wisdom, the universe answered. I knew what I had to do for my children.

After their births, instead of eating the sacred, life giving placenta as any fit mother does, I painfully did what I knew best. I froze it. Just kidding, first I painted the nursery with it, made tye dye t-shirts for everyone in the family and then I froze it.

Why wouldn't you eat it right then and there you ask? Many of you are probably sitting smugly behind your computer screens, laughing at such an incompetent mother, but soon, after reading the next paragraph, many of you will be applauding me.

Mother Universe told me I needed to feed it (forcefully if necessary) at the one event that makes them men and women. Their bar and Bat Mitzvahs.

A few days before the big day, I had it blessed, and kosherized. My daughter, Dandilion Snowflake Shnider had no idea what I was about to give to her as her present.

After the traditional cerimony, I called her to my side in front of the whole crowd of admiring family and friends. There came a waiter with her placenta on a platter and she was ready to chow down.

We stuck 12 candles in it and asked her to blow them out. After singing Happy Birthday and giving thanks to the Universe for her 12 years of life we told her to take her first bite. When She bent down to bite it we smashed her face in it! She ate it and I was surprized she loved it.
Young Placentra After her Placenta Smash!



Many family members were grossed out by our tradition and left the cerimony. What freaks of nature. What could be gross about eating a placenta?

That day I truly understood that many people dont understand the beauty of nature. Shame, shame.

Peace and good vibes

Nicolette de Placentra

7 comments:

  1. OK, the one issue I have here is how do you go about koshering a placenta? (and that is truly the ONLY issue I have with this). It's mainly blood! (which is not kosher). Also I think eating human parts is not on the "kosher list". Please inform your Jewish NCB'ers that they need to consult their rabbi immediately.

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  2. PrincessDoc, I feel the need to let you know that we are an anecdote based education center. The writer of this blog said she consulted with her Rabbi, so clearly that is all one needs to know. Please stop sharing dangerous information such as "consulting with a professional" or I will have to spay and ban you!

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  3. Nicollette de Placentra PHDMay 17, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Who do you think your taling down to PRincesDoc? Have you no idea that I got my PHD out of a box of Cheerios. Seriously, show some respect.

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  4. I love that you are Jewish!!! ((((DIVERSITY!!!))) I so wish we could have a Jewish member of our extended breast feeding drum circle. We are, like, 35% Christian and 65% Pagan. BORING! If you are interested in joining our circle, just let me know.

    I think this is a great idea. Letting the child eat the placenta instead of hoarding all it's wonders for ourselves might be the ultimate sacrifice of a mother.

    Shalom!

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  5. The Jewish/kosher thing to do would be have the thing bronzed, engraved with the child's name and date of birth, his/her weight at birth and possibly also at bat/bar mitzvah (for compare and contrast) and s/he can use it as a paperweight at college (or a door stop). Joan (Anonymous Joan)

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  6. But how would you consume it Joan?

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  7. Dr. dePlacentra, I apologize, I wasn't aware of your credentials. And Anonymous Joan, your reference to the placenta as "the thing" is a bit insulting, I think you should be banned from further comment. I wonder however if it would be more "kosher" to "consume" the placenta as nature really intended...by IV, just like how the baby was getting it?

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