Screw the Flu

Pffft, come on now ladies!! Too many Big Pharma shills trying to make you sick with things like "flu shots" since if they make you sick you'll see the doctor more often and then they will get more kickbacks from Big Pharma for all the RX drugs they give you.  Don't be duped.

The Flu is just Dark matter and the Flu vaccine is a joke.

So don't be a sucker, avoid toxic vaccines.  

1. Drink some Placenta infused whiskey tinicture
2. use Kale leaves to wipe the babies nose then Mama should eat them so she can produce antibodies in her milk for the baby. This also works for anyone else in the family you want to feed your breast milk

DON'T FORGET THE ONIONS

Velociraptor FusterCluck

Strange things mean a lot to us here at The Mama Tao. Ebola, while deadly and gross to some, is a point of high humor for us more educated and dainty types. It's sort of been a running gag for some time now.

Thus the topic of this day's post has to do more with "The [Fine] Art of War" than any real parody.

You see when the Taoites go out "hunting" it can be a vicious thing [See just about any thread we are on]. Why, pray tell, is it such a bloody massacre every single time? Because, dear readers, we hunt like a pack of Velociraptors on crack.

It turns out that the scaley birds of prey were not at all stupid [Source:Jurassic Park] They were smart and fast and full of teeth that gnash and claws that gut a man chin to pynis.
So what does this have to do with anything? It turns out that Velociraptors are fecking awesome!! And so are we.

When we go out hunting it really does look a lot like this:

Yes Ladies and Mysoginists, this is a fine example of what we have begun to call the Velociraptor FusterCluck.

The best part is...we even have this cool picture to put on our profiles when we attack

Be sure and join the Facebook group of people who are scared of us.

Ads, Donations and Sexy Pathogen Scrubs!

Mama Tao REALLY wants some Ebola Scrubs!

Many of you know that as a result of my burning down the vaccine plant last winter, all the proceeds from my blog have to go to Doctors Without Borders. When I first set up the blog, a few of you haters out there reported me and got me in all types of shit with the Blogger Man. Well, I'm back now bitches and hopefully we should start seeing some ads in the next few days.

Do you want to help a good cause and have your ad run for free on my blog? Send me a picture of a receipt or other proof that you have donated $$$ to Doctors Without Borders and I'll run three free posts about your product/blog/business on The Mama Tao. I get roughly 500-1000 hits a day, so you'll get seen and it helps a good cause(I get even more than that if I post more than once a day, but I'm a lazy tart)! I will also give you the free posts if you have worked for Doctors Without Borders as a Doctor, Nurse or Layperson. Just remember I cuss like a Drunk and prolly will fill your ad with the same.

I have promised some wonderful Twitter friends a Free ad, So this example of what your donation can get your fine ass!
                                                             



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Patho Phizz Scrubs: Made by Artists and a Nurse (So they tell me)

Some Friends on Twitter have turned me on to these Sexy Vector Scrubs. We can't be all Anti-Vaxx without being Pro-Pathogens now can we? These lovely scrubs come in many different bacteria and virus patterns (They have everything from E-Coli to Candida, whateverthehellthatis) If they got an Ebola scrub set I'd prolly die of glee (Hint Hint: See above picture for inspiration!)

Here is what they have to say about themselves:

Patho Phizz is the brainchild of Ben Parks and Marti Bein, a couple of
artists with a vision: cover the teeming masses with teeming pathogens!
Ben, who also works as a critical care nurse at the local regional
hospital, traces his original inspiration back to his days in
Microbiology 101--entranced by the beauty of bugs under the microscope.
Surely these images could be used creatively. Then, graduation from
nursing school, and that fateful first shopping spree to buy scrubs for
work. Alas! A dearth of unique, aesthetically pleasing, and
conceptually interesting scrubs with which to adorn one's self! Sponge
Bob? Nay! Khaki? Ka-Ka! Pansies and butterflies? Please pass the
bedpan! In late 2009, Ben, Marti, and Ben's daughter Aurora started
playing around with micrographs of pathogens and pathologies, enhancing
colors, patterning them with the aid of computer graphics software.
Marti, a painter, offered pointed criticism and suggestions. Aurora, in
addition to making some beautiful patterns, came up with fabulous ideas
for future products (how about pajamas with REM sleep pattern strips as
the stripe element, Pa?). We made a couple of prototypes and we thought
they had promise. Ben wore an early E. coli to work one day, followed
by a pulmonary embolism pattern. His co-workers were intrigued. Sure,
I'd buy that. Okay, thought us: Let the contagion begin!

As many of you know, I have spent my life trying to get MMR put on the endangered Species list, so buying these scrubs can only help people understand how very very cute these little critters are! And you know the kiddies will love them too.

Forget What You Heard: Ebola Can Be Cured By Happy Thoughts!

Those of you who are regular readers might remember that my daughter, Dartboard Mush was recently diagnosed by my Chiropractor with Ebola. My Chiropractor wanted to call in the real doctor. The CDC wanted to put a mile radius of Razor wire around my compound and the Army kept threatening to shoot!

Last night, my husband, Jhkeels and I chanted under that beautiful Goddess filled, dolphin powered. Giant ass moon!. We sang and danced and made love in the grass in front of the children and this morning she was better! The Army trucks are pulling away as I type!

This only proves that the power of positive thinking is the ONLY way to cure illness. I know that this method would work with other diseases such as Rabies and SARS! Just try it out for yourself. If it does not work it’s because you are not being positive enough so think happy!

My Youngest is sick—

I actually had to break down and take my kid to the chiropractor—she has had a fever for a few days and I was hoping that My Chiro would give her some really strong super diluted homeopathic meds.

As it turns out, ever since I started Mama Tao I have not been paying much attention to my kids. Mix that with the fact that I unschool and I pretty much never see them. I guess Little Dartboard Mush ( the name she gave herself THANK YOU!) had gotten into the toilet and had a sip of the water. I use all natural cleaning products so I don’t normally worry about it.

When the blood work came back my Chiro took me aside and said “ Your daughter has Ebola!”

I was like, “Don’t you mean E-coli? She was drinking out of the toilet and I do use all natural products so none of that poop in there is dead—and you get e-coli from poop, not Ebola!”

And he said “ Nope, she has Ebola—your toilet is so nasty it’s grown EBOLA!” He didn’t have to scream at me!

Anyway, just please remember to send out some super good thoughts for my daughter. She is one some high dose water pills and oatmeal colonics! This is just so hard on ME being 48 weeks pregnant!