Dear Mama Tao

Dear Mama Tao,
I need a birth-related project for the lint I collect from my dryer vent.  Any suggestions?
The lint is gray.
signed,
A disenfranchised Gen X slacker

Dear slacker,
dryer lint has many birth uses.  You can weave a reboz to use to help during labor with stuck bebehs.  You can use it to stuff you hand knit tampons uppin there absorbing powers.  Or just use it to seal up a rectovaginal fistula
love,
Mama Tao

Dear Mama Tao,
I am pregnant but I can't be sure when I conceived.  I don't chart.  How can I find out when I don't want to get one of those dangerous sonograms
signed,
knocked up in MI

Dear knocked up,
babies come when they are ready who cares when you conceived.  love,
Mama Tao

Dear Mama Tao,
Do Garlic and yogurt have any other uses besides, well you know....in the chacha, the way nature intended.  Because Mah neighbor said something about tzatziki, it's like this Greek thang?  I just can't imagine using that stuff, for, like, food.  Do people actually EAT those there thangs?  
signed,
Ooohmpah

Dear Ooohmpah,
anything you can put in your yoni you can put in your mouth.  Ooooom nom nom and it will also help keep yer guts healthy and teh yeasts out.
love, 
Mama Tao

Dear Mama Tao,
I had my baby 10 months ago and I still have not stopped bleeding.  I had a fourth degree tear but my midwife just told me to keep my legs closed.  I have not opened them in almost a year.  Why can't I heal like Nature intended?
signed,
Horny in Appalachia

Dear Horny,
Pfffft trust yer sacred yoni and get some dryer lint. And FFS keep yer damn legs closed.
Love, 
Mama Tao

Dear Mama Tao,
why does my son have tongue-tie and eczema? Oh and asthma? What did I do while preggo with him to cause all these problems? I know it must be my fault! And if not, then it certainly is my doctor's! Who's to blame?
And before you respond, you should know I don't put much stock in scientific studies.  I've tried coconut oil, GSE, GV, and donor milk and nothing has helped!  Who should be held responsible?
signed, 
Shittay moma

Dear Shittay,
first use google to find Robert S. Mendelsohn, M.D. and if you're not too poor you should buy his books too.  BUT MEh who needs books when you have teh google research?   I don't believe scientifc studies and neither does Mendelsohn prefer the Emperical evidence to science mularkey.  
Well........ as far as blame.  your doctor is to blame for being brainwashed and giving you terrible assvice like getting vaccines but you are to blame for being uneducated enough to listen to him.  google is your friend.
Love,
Mama Tao