Whatz behind dose curtains

So Mama Tao had a yeast infection as women sometimes do.  Teh yogurts and the probiotics just weren't cutting it so I turned to some of my crunch friends to look for a solution to the Yeasty Beasty.  One of my friends gave me a a nachural remedy.  It looked so easy and fool poof.  So I gave it a shot.

Well......Turn out my girl who gave me this assvice forgots to mention that she enjoys a Brazilian bare bikini area.  Mama Tao is a full bush kinda gal and you can imagine my absolutes HORROR when my pubes also caught a fire.  So there was I was in the bathroom with cheese cloth dangling from sacred yoni and my bush engulfed in flames.  I put out teh firez but I had singed off my entire womanly bush!

I felt shameful like a small girl and I am WIMBIN DAMNIT all.  So I went on a quest to make myself a Merkin so I could be less ashamed and also Papa Tao ain't into youngins he likes a mature full bush on his lady. Oh and what a wild and crazy ride it waz ::SMH::

The first hair I ordered was far to long and thin to make a presentable bush.

The next one was too straight and too coarse.  Real humanz hairs I think tehy lieded.  

 I was like hmmmm, maybes I try some carded wool??

Teh dyeing kept coming so uneven and ERMAHGAWD it was so hot and Itchier than sand fleas on my hoo.

Then I found it.  It was PUUUUURFECT.  I found a place in Canada where I could mail order realz Huuuman pubic hairs and since it's so damn frost up there they are nice and long, thick, soft and curly the way Papa Tao and I lieky them to bees.

 It 'twas magnficant or so I thought.  I even was able to get the dreadz just right, the glitter around mah coin slot.  I finally felt like I could breathe a loooooooooooooooong sigh of relief.  BUT I waz oh so wrong bout that one.  

As it so happens Canadianes don't scrren their pube donors AND don't disinfect the hairz they sell to people.  I contracted teh flesh eatting bacterias on my Yoni from this merkin above just like that poor wymin in Oregon.  But mines waz not from a killah who doesn't wash her hands but from Canadien pubes.  I became very very sick with flu like symptoms and Papa Tao called the Witch Doctor, he could not heal me so they called the the Shaman.  The Shaman could not heal me either so they called a Medicine Wooooooman, but she could not help either and I was very very unwell. Papa Tao decided enough was enough and took me to see BigPharma's shill Drs at the local hospital.  I was admitted to ICU and put into a medically induced coma (or so they say, not so sures on dat being teh truf) and I had to have many many surgeries to removes the necrotix tissues from my mons pubis.  I will never be ables to grow a bush again, I haz no more hair folicles and lotza nasty scars to remind me of how they pube raped me in surgery.

Well, being Mama Tao and knowing nothing is going to hold me down and stop me from spreading all my great knowledge of teh Nachural and crunchy in pregnancy, birth, and parenting.  I decided to start my own SAFE  Make'yer own merkin kits for Mamas who are pubic folically challenged like mah self.  If I raise enough moneys I want to donate these to some support groups, like Mamas with Alopecia and burn victims etc etc etc.

I use only teh absolutes finest nice Tibetan Lamb fur pelts harvested from Lambs who have lived free range and died a nachural death.  No animals were cruel to here.
And with this Kit I'll even include some stencilz for ways you can have fun and make it a designer bush. Here are some fun and creative crunchy idears!

A Mustache!~ for all you Hipsters out there

A beutiful pregnant mama's bust~ great way to tell your man he's gonna be a Pappa

A Tree of life~ all life begins in your Yoni!

A Magik Unicorn

You canz evern make her horn haz glitters

A traditional bush shape for those who don't like to go to wild

RAWR RAWR...IT'S A FUCKING DINOSAUR.  RAPTORS!

all these were cut from one pelt with room to make even more fun fantasy shapes!  They are washable and reusable and free from Streptoccocus 

Moral of teh stories some bushing shouldn't burn EVAR

Empowered by Steiner!

         As a Waldorf proponent, a homeschooler, a Homebirther, and a yoga instructor, I often have women coming to see me expressing their desire to do what I do everyday.  I receive numerous emails claiming that they wish they could look like me, walk like me, talk like me, dress like me, knit like me, homeschool their kids like me, and most importantly, birth like me.  I am flattered, but I can assure you that getting to where I am was no easy feat. 
        It took a lot of hard work, many rage releasing sessions, many times ripping out the grass on our front lawn in agony, and many interpersonal wars to get to this point.  I let women know that they can do it, but before they get there, they will have to go through the darkness and through the trials I’ve been through.  They will have to detox according to my program and most people don’t know how to detox correctly. 
          Most people don’t understand that part of detoxing is mothering your child in the best way possible, and that way is through Steiner’s methods. Steiner says we should not be teaching our children their abc’s until they are well past losing their baby teeth and can reach their arm around the back of their head and reach their opposite ear lobe.  How can we truly be showing love for our children when our children are holding carcinogenic plastic blocks made in China?  How can we truly be showing love for our children when we are feeding them hot dogs?  Steiner says that wooden toys are best for children.  They cost more, but everyone can find the money to pay up for wood as opposed to plastic.  If you can't find the money, there is always a way to work the system for some extra cash and doing so is noble when it comes to avoiding products from China! 
       Husbands also have to learn to come to worship and praise their woman’s Yoni on a daily basis.  This is hard in a world of porn and the illusion of the perfectly intact Yoni.  My yoni is even more beautiful as each tear from my multiple water births healed the way they were meant to be.  No stitching or cutting of the perineum here!  The philosophy I follow says that cutting the perineum could result in a pelvic-ocular block connection tied to the astral cord.  Once in place, to try to sever that block would be to unleash all of the rage of the world. 

      When it comes to birthing, I let moms know that birthing was not easy.  I felt the pain and the pleasure all at once.  I would never pump antibiotics and drugs into my body so that I could become a walking candida factory!  I would never insert the inorganic cotton and arsenic wands of Ahrimen into my Yoni.   I only use the Diva Cup which is what I advise all women to do.  I then place a bowl of menstrual blood in the center of our table so that the family can appreciate the fruit of my womb. The children then dilute it and water our plants.  Instead of desecrating my Yoni, I apply oils of love daily and sit in milk baths with frankincense to infuse my body with reverence while my kids use 100% organic wool to felt magical gnomes and fairies dedicated to their mother goddess!
        I have pictures on display of my home births on my walls and visitors appreciate the beauty of my ‘Real’ Yoni.  My family thinks me odd, but that is because, sadly, they are trapped in the Emotional Plague and cannot see truth.  They have not addressed their blocks and armor.  I am certain that some moms have Yoni jealousy when they view my pictures.  The fact is, I believed in myself and the power of my Yoni as a pathway of love and peace which is more than I can say for some of the c-section moms I’ve met. 
         I feel that it is my duty to inform them that they are submitting to violence by knife and giving their bodies to the Man.  I will do whatever it takes to drive this home for them because I incarnated into this life for this reason alone.  I may not make many friends, but it is because I speak Truth!  Their children are destined to become the Lucifers and Ahrimans of this reality because they bypassed the path of love and truth and instead were ripped into a realm that imprinted them with violent resonance.  The babies are born infected with Wilhelm Reich's Emotional Plague and they are immediately armored and locked down by the temperature/pressure shift from warm womb to cold operating room.  The mothers’ocular blocks prevent them from seeing that their pelvises were too heavily armored to birth their babies.  They couldn’t do it if they’d wanted to.  Reich said this would happen.  In fact, even if they did believe in themselves, they probably could not do it because the armored pelvis retains so much rage that it best stay under lockdown. 
          I am an ardent fan of Wilhelm Reich who has healed me from my plague and I have only treated my family with his methods.  My one son came to me one day and was wanting to draw with a color other than yellow.  Steiner says that a child must stay with the color yellow for it’s benefits are tied in to physical movement and this would include avoiding hard lines.  Children who color with beeswax crayons vibrate at a superior frequency to Crayola kids.  The presence of Crayola or other anything other than Stockmar Beeswax should be a warning sign that Ahrimen and Lucifer are present.  As penance, I sent my son to play with some gnomes and wooden blocks for several hours in the sunlight and after some yoga, he settled back down into the etheric.  Later, we talked and he cried about how he felt that I was angry with him after his water birth.  We both sat on the couch and cried and cried and then I administered the method I strongly recommend to other moms called ‘Holding Time.’  I have even used it on my husband with amazing results!  My son screamed and I cried and he turned blue in the face, but I did not let go of him, I held him tightly and firmly in my arms.  I just repeated over and over that he was in mama’s loving arms.  He looked terrorized and traumatized and for a minute I thought he would stop breathing, but that was a good sign.  We needed to break through.  We needed to expand.  We needed to be there together in that moment of terror and darkness to cross over to the bridge of love and light.  I realized that though I waterbirthed in peace and love, he never bonded with me.  I think we were enemies before this incarnation.             
         However, Steiner says he came back because we had unfinished business and, according to my daughter who has reached a state of clairvoyance and can now channel Steiner just in time for high school, we're just working out our Karma.  Whenever I meet a c-section mom who did not believe in herself or her power enough to at least try a VBAC, I tell her that Holding Time is essential as she not only did not bond with her baby, but will probably never bond.  My son and I flew to Guam several times to go for Reichian therapies and that is when we bonded after a re-water-birthing ceremony. 
        There was much pain and a lot of screaming and fear, we both nearly drowned, but this was what was necessary for us to re-connect as mother and child.  So, birthing goddesses, the next time you meet a c-section mom, understand that she is most likely envious of your powerful Yoni and that her pelvic armoring will keep her birthing by knife.  I no longer let my children play with kids birthed by knife.  Steiner says that Lucifer and Ahrimen are very real and as Waldorfers, we feel on the right path if we do what Steiner says. 

Love and Light,

Starseed Mama