Hypnotherapy-- A letter from Elm Woodfairy

Dearest Goddesses,

As you all know I have travelled all over the world in my quest to bring a child to earth. I wanted to share with you one if the fantastic therapies available for those of us who are willing to test the boundaries of the natural order of the universe to conceive- the intriguing practice of hypnotherapy!

In a nutshell “Hypnotherapy transforms the frustration or fear that you may be feeling into a powerful, constructive force.” And has amazing success rates- 93% in only six easy sessions!

During your sessions you will be hypnotised to release stress and anxiety. You will be given the joyful experience of deep relaxation to create clearer and more constructive inner focus. You will be given mantras to help you focus on the visualisations of yourself as an accomplished baby-wearing organic powermother. All of these will eliminate tension so that you can “just relax” into a truly successful pregnancy.

The connection to your hypnotherapist can sometimes be so strong that the babies may harness the energy of the therapists to such an extent they can even have a resemblance!

I must end transmission now.  Time to break camp.

Yours in the universe,

Elm Woodfairy,

Who We Are--The Wonderful Staff Of Mama Tao--Part I

Jade Jymson

Jade " Mama Tao " Jymson
Jade, Jymson was raised in New York city, although she would later grow to hate all man made cities, she had somewhat of a happy childhood. She is a Certified Practicing Midwife (CPM), Doula (DONA), Direct Entry Midwife (DEM) and WebMD. She lives in Newton, Mass with her husband and 6 children.

Elderberry Wienham Smythe Jones

Elderberry Wienham Smythe Jones

Elderberry lives in Basingstoke with her soon to be ex-husband Qwenton and their four children. She studies Breastfeeding and Freebirthing at Google University. She is a master debater and Unschools all of her very fine Children as well as nurses her entire family

 

River Raintree

Guest Blog-Mantis Method of Curing Infertility

It is time to tell my story and share my cosmic redemption and forthcoming birth Goddesshood with my beloved peers.

For five years, my life partner Jodhpur and I struggled with infertility. I tried every remedy we could find. I chanted under the moon, I decorated our sacred spaces with menstrual blood. I tried many colonic and kharmic purges to undo the damage I had done to myself while working at (oh, the shame) McDonald’s while I was in high school, before I was reeducated at a certain College, which I will not name for reasons that will become clear.

I traveled the world over looking for the cure for my affliction. In Australia, I drank gallons of bush flower essences. In Europe, I tried Reiki, Refloxology and Biofeedback. In Asia, I tried every kind of massage and acupuncture that was available. At LONG last I reached Mother Africa. I mean, what was I thinking, waiting so long?

Deep in the Drakensbergs, I met the shaman that would change my (oops, our) lives. He was the last practitioner of Mantodea fertility rites IN THE WORLD! After several weeks practicing with the sacred machete, I decapitated Jodhpur at the peak of his expression of “father’s milk” from his luckily uncut member.

I am awaiting my impending Goddesshood deep in the Australian outback. As soon as Drako Mantea (which we will use as a baby name until she or he chooses his or her adult name), arrives earthside, we will have to move on to another remote location until society accepts the Mantodea practice as a valid lifestyle choice, and Interpol removes us from the Most Wanted list.

Elm Woodfairy, from an undisclosed location