Tuesday Redos-day (Which I like better)

This post is  a little late due to our wonderful Science Photo Contest which we hope to have a winner for very soon...But here you go. Toda we go back to a time when River Raintree was still our hero, before she failed us all with a hospital transport.

Why I am UCing My Quads

I’ve always known I was meant to be a mom, so I was devastated when I learned that I had a condition that made it unlikely that I could ever conceive. Thanks to modern medicine and IVF, though, I’m now happily pregnant...with quadruplets. I’d never really thought much about the birth part of the equation beforehand, but now that I’ve educated myself (there is just SO much great information out there on the internet!) I realize that I owe it to myself and my babies to go au natural. I mean, now that they’re in there, I can totally trust my body to do exactly what it’s made to do!! Unfortunately, my MFMs were really unsupportive. They keep telling me that I have a greater “chance” of giving birth prematurely and that premature babies need special care and that I should schedule an c-section (extraction) to make sure they could be born safely, blah blah blah. So I fired them!! At first, I found this CPM who seemed really awesome and was SO excited about catching quads (she made me promise she could post pictures on her blog), but she keeps wanting to interfere with my NORMAL birth by taking my temperature and measuring my fundal height, and using a Doppler (who knows what THAT might do to them) to monitor their heartbeat, so I think I’m going to fire her, too.

I am so frustrated. Why? Because care providers are so worried about their licenses and following the law and making sure things are properly documented and done according to some arbitrary standard. Really? Women have been giving birth for thousands of years perfectly well before these nincompoops decided to create themselves a job and interfere. I am finally realizing that the only way I am going to have an empowering birth is to birth unassisted. Am I on some sort of mission to become a UC mom? No. Do I tell other moms to UC? No. It is the situation I am in and not being able to find the right support that is leading me to conclude that the only person I can depend on in this situation is myself.

My body wouldn’t have let the IVF make four babies (Gasp! The horror!) if it wasn’t ready to birth them. But the medical profession assumes that my body must be broken. I’m “high risk,” so I must need interventions. My babies and I must be monitored at all times to make sure my placenta isn’t covering my cervix or something. This is what obstetrics is…managing and interfering with NORMAL birth.

You might be thinking, “She should go with that midwife.” Someone that is ‘with woman’. Not even all midwives are supportive of multiple births at home because of their own fears. Luckily there are some great midwives who really do trust birth. There’s one big problem. Even the best of midwives who are licensed are subjected to following the laws. *eyeroll* Let me give you an example in my pregnancy RIGHT NOW.

The midwife I mentioned before and I talked about what would happen if I went into labor before 36 weeks, which is pretty likely with a higher order multiple pregnancy. Right now I am 34 weeks, and plenty of people are shocked that I’ve made it this far . We were really open with one another and she told me she wanted to monitor the babies and make sure they were OK, to which I said I understood. So, here I am at 34 weeks and she’s like, “OK mama, I need to listen to those babies’ heartbeat or you’re going to have to go UC.” She doesn’t want to pressure me, but what does it come down to? She has to cover her ass. I understand. I am not angry with her. But I cried. Why? This is interfering with my birth. I do not feel the need for monitoring. I just *know* that my babies and I are going to be perfectly fine in the end. Can that be respected at the same time as another woman (midwife) supporting me? No. Because of laws.
I did not cry for me though. I cried because of the awful spectical birth has become. It’s WAY bigger than me. Sure, it’s annoying that this happened and that I’m being FORCED to choose a UC, but I can handle me. It’s the big picture I have issues with. I cried for all the other women who can not get the support they need or deserve. I cried because of how many women are subjected to interventions because they might be carrying more than one or two babies in their womb. I cried because it’s JUST BIRTH and women should just be able to support each other in birthing without interventions, licensing, laws and the government telling midwives who they can and can not support and women where and how they can and can not birth. Think about it. How twisted is this?!

What can I do? What can we do? It will only change with WOMEN DECIDING TO CHANGE IT. We have to stop being frightened of birth, stop being frightened of something we have been perfectly designed to do. We have to stop being victims. You hired your midwife or your OB and you can fire them!! There are great OB’s and midwives out there and we need to seek them out. Stop making excuses and do whatever it takes to have an empowering birth! It’s YOUR body, YOUR birth, and YOUR baby. It won’t change until YOU do. And THAT is why I’m giving my babies the gift of UC.

River Raintree is a regular on NPRs "Mama Hour" and lives in Nevada with her husband and soon to be quads!

Who We Are--The Wonderful Staff Of Mama Tao--Part I

Jade Jymson

Jade " Mama Tao " Jymson
Jade, Jymson was raised in New York city, although she would later grow to hate all man made cities, she had somewhat of a happy childhood. She is a Certified Practicing Midwife (CPM), Doula (DONA), Direct Entry Midwife (DEM) and WebMD. She lives in Newton, Mass with her husband and 6 children.

Elderberry Wienham Smythe Jones

Elderberry Wienham Smythe Jones

Elderberry lives in Basingstoke with her soon to be ex-husband Qwenton and their four children. She studies Breastfeeding and Freebirthing at Google University. She is a master debater and Unschools all of her very fine Children as well as nurses her entire family

 

River Raintree

River's (Super Sad) Birth Story

I went into labor around 8pm March 13th at 34 weeks and 5 days. Since I’ve been planning my UC for months now, and I knew that the quadruplets would likely come early, it wasn’t really a big deal. I lost my mucous plug and the contractions started in earnest. Around midnight, bright red blood started gushing from my hoo-ha, and my husband was getting nervous. He wanted to call EMS, but I refused to allow it -- I know that blood loss during labor is just a variant of normal. In fact, I suspected that it might be that placenta previa my fired MFMs were so worried about, but since I had done my research, I knew that it wasn’t really a problem. Giving birth naturally involves knowledge of my own body and surrender to it.  To that end, I felt it was important for me to trust my body. I would never let fear dictate my choices. Besides, I fear birthing in the hospital much more than anything that could happen to me at home -- hospitals are not the best place for so-called "high risk" cases like mine. Just by virtue of being labeled as high risk, the hospital procedures that women are pressured into going along with increase their risk of unnecessary interventions and complications.

I was breathing through my contractions, dealing well with the pain and sopping up the blood with a beach towel when we heard a knock on the door. You can imagine my surprise and horror to discover that it was two EMTs. My husband had called them on the sly. I was absolutely furious. How DARE he call 911 and invite the mayhem that medical care, and all the trappings (literally!) it brings, into our little family. The paramedics were sympathetic at first, but once they realized that I had no intention of joining them in the ambulance and going to the hospital, they coldly and manipulatively pulled the dead baby card. Of course, my husband bought it hook, line, and sinker. In spite of the betrayal, I felt the need to calm the fears of my rattled husband, so I agreed to go to the hospital *just* to be checked out. But I knew in my heart of hearts that it was the beginning of the end of my perfect birth experience.

See, from an organized western medicine view, placenta previa is this huge problem, but from a traditional, indigenous perspective, when the birth is kept calm, as the placenta detaches, it is given time to seal off, and the mother (within her reptilian brain and working with her baby) brings the babe down in a timely fashion, and the placenta follows. Something that hospital's "optimum care" cannot fathom--there is just not enough drama. So I knew that as soon as I entered those hospital doors -- the doors of the ambulance, even -- that my calm birth and the chance that my babies had to experience the wonder of my vagina was gone.

Of course, the first thing they wanted to do when I arrived at the hospital was listen to the babies heart rates. The very thing I had originally chosen a UC to avoid. I reluctantly gave in, knowing that this was going to be the first in a long cascade of interventions pushed on me. Of course, the nurse said that there were “late decelerations,” and immediately called the OB. Who again played the “fetal distress” and “dead baby” cards simultaneously. Even with my husband begging me and the doctor’s coercion I was ready to stand firm and refuse the extraction. And then the doctor said something about a court order.

The sobbing from my husband and the spectre of court involvement was just too much for my bruised psyche, and I muttered, “Fine.” It wasn’t consent so much as it was giving up, and I regret it SO MUCH. Why couldn’t I have been stronger?? I failed utterly, and I will never be able to forgive myself. They shoved a needle in my spine and gave me the numbing poison that is a spinal. I was sobbing as they cut into me. The first baby came out, and I just didn’t have the strength to scream, “STOP!” as they rubbed the last of my blood off of her. The nurses gave her a first APGAR of 4, but she perked right up and started breathing and getting a little color into her. And I WEPT as I realized just how unnecessary this ces...(I can’t even bear to type it all the way out) extraction was. She was FINE! The others were fine as well. But then they were held hostage in the NICU overnight for goddess knows what reason. They are here in the room with me now, but I can hardly bear to look at them, knowing that I will have to apologize to them for the way I failed them, every day for the rest of their lives.

And now life must go on, though I don’t know how. I will be forced forgive my husband for his ultimate betrayal so that he can help me to get pregnant again. Because the only way that I will ever be able to recover from this trauma is to have a healing VBAC. One day, I just KNOW that, when I experience a real, NORMAL, birth, I will be able to be a real woman and a real mother. It’s just too bad that I had that ability ripped from me by scalpel with this one.

Guest Blog: Why I’m UCing My Quadruplets:

I’ve always known I was meant to be a mom, so I was devastated when I learned that I had a condition that made it unlikely that I could ever conceive. Thanks to modern medicine and IVF, though, I’m now happily pregnant...with quadruplets. I’d never really thought much about the birth part of the equation beforehand, but now that I’ve educated myself (there is just SO much great information out there on the internet!) I realize that I owe it to myself and my babies to go au natural. I mean, now that they’re in there, I can totally trust my body to do exactly what it’s made to do!! Unfortunately, my MFMs were really unsupportive. They keep telling me that I have a greater “chance” of giving birth prematurely and that premature babies need special care and that I should schedule an c-section (extraction) to make sure they could be born safely, blah blah blah. So I fired them!! At first, I found this CPM who seemed really awesome and was SO excited about catching quads (she made me promise she could post pictures on her blog), but she keeps wanting to interfere with my NORMAL birth by taking my temperature and measuring my fundal height, and using a Doppler (who knows what THAT might do to them) to monitor their heartbeat, so I think I’m going to fire her, too.

I am so frustrated. Why? Because care providers are so worried about their licenses and following the law and making sure things are properly documented and done according to some arbitrary standard. Really? Women have been giving birth for thousands of years perfectly well before these nincompoops decided to create themselves a job and interfere. I am finally realizing that the only way I am going to have an empowering birth is to birth unassisted. Am I on some sort of mission to become a UC mom? No. Do I tell other moms to UC? No. It is the situation I am in and not being able to find the right support that is leading me to conclude that the only person I can depend on in this situation is myself.

My body wouldn’t have let the IVF make four babies (Gasp! The horror!) if it wasn’t ready to birth them. But the medical profession assumes that my body must be broken. I’m “high risk,” so I must need interventions. My babies and I must be monitored at all times to make sure my placenta isn’t covering my cervix or something. This is what obstetrics is…managing and interfering with NORMAL birth.

You might be thinking, “She should go with that midwife.” Someone that is ‘with woman’. Not even all midwives are supportive of multiple births at home because of their own fears. Luckily there are some great midwives who really do trust birth. There’s one big problem. Even the best of midwives who are licensed are subjected to following the laws. *eyeroll* Let me give you an example in my pregnancy RIGHT NOW.

The midwife I mentioned before and I talked about what would happen if I went into labor before 36 weeks, which is pretty likely with a higher order multiple pregnancy. Right now I am 34 weeks, and plenty of people are shocked that I’ve made it this far . We were really open with one another and she told me she wanted to monitor the babies and make sure they were OK, to which I said I understood. So, here I am at 34 weeks and she’s like, “OK mama, I need to listen to those babies’ heartbeat or you’re going to have to go UC.” She doesn’t want to pressure me, but what does it come down to? She has to cover her ass. I understand. I am not angry with her. But I cried. Why? This is interfering with my birth. I do not feel the need for monitoring. I just *know* that my babies and I are going to be perfectly fine in the end. Can that be respected at the same time as another woman (midwife) supporting me? No. Because of laws.
I did not cry for me though. I cried because of the awful spectical birth has become. It’s WAY bigger than me. Sure, it’s annoying that this happened and that I’m being FORCED to choose a UC, but I can handle me. It’s the big picture I have issues with. I cried for all the other women who can not get the support they need or deserve. I cried because of how many women are subjected to interventions because they might be carrying more than one or two babies in their womb. I cried because it’s JUST BIRTH and women should just be able to support each other in birthing without interventions, licensing, laws and the government telling midwives who they can and can not support and women where and how they can and can not birth. Think about it. How twisted is this?!

What can I do? What can we do? It will only change with WOMEN DECIDING TO CHANGE IT. We have to stop being frightened of birth, stop being frightened of something we have been perfectly designed to do. We have to stop being victims. You hired your midwife or your OB and you can fire them!! There are great OB’s and midwives out there and we need to seek them out. Stop making excuses and do whatever it takes to have an empowering birth! It’s YOUR body, YOUR birth, and YOUR baby. It won’t change until YOU do. And THAT is why I’m giving my babies the gift of UC.

River Raintree is a regular on NPRs "Mama Hour" and lives in Nevada with her husband and soon to be quads!