What is that awful smell??

Well as you bitches already know Mama Tao is all about all things nachural and parenting.  While chit chatting with one of my awesomesauce crunchtastic mama friends she mentioned doing ACV (apple cider vinegar for those of you creamy posers who read my shit) rinse on her hair and how it left it so ammmmmmmmmmmazing.  Shocked that there was a use for ACV that I had already not tried, I knew I had to try this as.soon.as.fucking.possible.

Seeing as I'm very natural it was a few weeks before I was due for a good scrubbing and today was the day that I tried it.   

So I filled up a recycled glass tumbler of AVC and headed for the showers.....

then things got interesting

first the vinegar mixed with the shower steam loosened all of my secretions in my sinuses so I took about 15 or 20 minutes blowing snot rockets around the shower to get all the old junk out of there (calm your tits bitches no precious water was wasted I used recycled rain water for my shower then I use it to water my organic 'erb garden).  After the snoz was cleared out I did my usual routine, rebraided my armpit hair etc.  Then came time to do the rinse...

Well she said mix 50:50 water and AVC and put it on after you shampoo, rub it into your scalp wait a few minutes then rinse it all out.

MEH, OKAY easy enough I though....... BUT I WAS FUCKING WRONG

As soon as I dumped that cup over my head the ACV STUNG my eye like the venom of A THOUSAND SCORPIONS and I could not see worth shit.  So of course I stepped in some left over snot rockets and slipped crashing my naked ass out of the shower...Oh but it gets better..

Once I could get my snotty, wet naked ass up and back into the shower I tried to rinse that stuff out.  And try as I might, THE STANK would not leave me.

So now Mama Tao smells like a cross between cheap salad dressing and the ladies room at the playboy mansion.  THAT'S RIGHT I SMELL LIKE A GIANT WALKING BOTTLE OF MASSENGILL DOUCHE.  That's right DOUCHE.  So my official stance on ACV rinse is FUCK THAT NOISE, I'M STICKING TO NATURAL PLACENTA SHAMPOO!!!!! 

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Therez is nothing natural about douche, don't put it in your yoni don't put it on your hair....... 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjAPoN8qs0Q

Mama Tao Out

The History Of The Midwife

This post is one made to serve and inform. The story of the persecution of the midwife is a sad and sordid one and is a tale that needs to be told.

Way back in the days, when we all lived natural and we all had shiny white teeth as signs of our superior health and well being , midwives were invented to aid women in the birth experience. They offered their services for money or trade in exchange, a midwife would provide candles, incense and a birth orgasm to the mother --and sometimes the father.

As the years passed, some midwives began to practice what might actually be considered real medicine--they would later turn into OBGYNs and Certified Nurse Midwives--but we don't care about them. I want to tell the story of the women who kept their minds pure and NATURAL.

An early statue of midwife led male- nursing

Throughout the years these Midwives who we would today call Direct Entry Midwives (DEM) and Certified Practicing Midwives (CPM) in the States, were highly persecuted and harmed for their practices.

In the 1600s a whole gaggle of midwives were hanged in Salem. Many historians thought at first they were witches, but newer evidence points out that they were indeed midwives.

Midwives on trial in Salem

 Several years down the road, during the industrial age, a group of midwives were lured into what they believed to be a hospital full of women being subjected to the Cascade of Interventions (TM). The doors were then locked and the building was set on fire. Many midwives died as a result and some jumped to their deaths in an attempt to not burn to death.



Midwives outside: The Midwife Shirtwaist Fires

Finally we come to this day and age and midwives are still being hunted down and harangued for their practices.
Dr. Amy, a skeptical OB demands that all midwives go to Nursing school and get qualifications through the government. She also requests that they have malpractice insurance! And on we revolt!!



Midwives revolt at the launching of The Skeptical OB blog by Dr. Amy